Thursday, 27 April 2017

New chapter

Guess no one can runaway from "changes"
It comes every now and then
To spice up your life
& to kick the comfort zone of yours off

New space , place , environment , experience
As i said , 2017 bring it on!
As far as i would like to runaway from it
It seems like to no avail.
So why not take it up instead?
I may have loadsa complaints before
But its pretty useless i guess
No one could help me if i dont not help myself
So in the end , i decided to put a fullstop
Maybe be for the better or worst?
Whateva come what may!
Till then i shall think for myself only

Hold on and watch me dance through the rain!

Grey Skies

阴天的心情只有一个
就是爱睡啦!
😆
Snuggling under the blankie on the sofa
With the tv on and with someone
That would be the ideal thing to do now

*in my wildest dream*

Tuesday, 3 May 2016

Merry May?

Scribbling from a mini hp screen is so much harder than typing it out on a computer
But after working hours ,
Its time to get off that lappie!

One more month till the middle of the year!
I dont knw why but i couldnt wait. 

May would be busily dull
At least there will be some live and fun in June! 

Shall paint this month with colourful rainbows rite?
This life is yours to hold and create memories.
☺️
Oh oh , another 3 kilos down for me!
Yikess! What did i do? 
You fats , i shall shake you off all soon! 
Too much of hiking? Or too stressed up? 
Either or i guess

Too much things on my mind
Too slow to type it all at once
Some are too private to be written down here
I shall keep it up in the brain 

Sneeze too much today
Flu found its way to me
Great huh?! 
Don't miss me too much kay
I would like to know who's the culprit actually.



Thursday, 7 April 2016

人类 ,我真的搞不懂你

各种各样的态度
真的令我烦死


天天对着不同的人
天天面对不同的态度
人啊!你可不可以别这样?

多么的希望你们都有commom sense
什么是limit
什么是sensitive
什么是一点都不好笑
什么是说够了
什么是不应该说出口
我真的搞不懂你的脑

你们到底有没有成长?
你们到底有没有说话经过大脑?
老,年轻都是一样
等到我脸变色,你们才醒
到时候会太迟了。
你们就要面对我的丑脸了!

Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Can't keep my hands to myself

Me back ; me back
Proud of my lousy inkgerish!
I know , its lame

Can't help it at times

At times i wish i have the power to read minds
The minds of others ; it'll def be interesting

Intuition is a lady's gift
However there are doubts bout it at times
As it is not proven to be accurately correct

Advices from whom-so-ever
Doesn't really work well on this stubborn head
As i rather judge from my eyes than others 
So yeah , i gotta admit ; 
A person can condemn another infront of me all they want
But end of the day ,
It doesn't really affect me 
Perhaps i'll just treat it as its a rap song

Call me a snob or 
Tell me "You've got served!"
I'll say oh well , at least i could get up and walk myself
Or make judgement on my own

Trust is very precious gift i would offer
Its just so rare that i could just give it to anyone
Closeness couldn't fairly trade it from me

Truthfuly , i wouldn't show my all
I know this is harsh ; not even close friends
Cz i'll be too vulnerable

Being an optimist is what i would want for the rest of my life
Pessimist is just too depressing
Cut the crap and let yourself live for once!
Bad decisions made are purely lessons in life
Dig a hole ; bury it deep and start again. 

Till then , Toodles! 

Monday, 7 March 2016

Monkey March

the ever perfect monday
sitting by a cafe at the busiest bank street
pening down some thoughts

"Give your all to me and i give my all to you"
Playing in the background

3rd month in the new year
Last 2 months were pretty hectic ever since last year's dec
Work is pilling ; syallabus for studies is updated
How do i break myself in half?
I couldn't but i've been managing such a life
You gotta keep moving to keep holding it in
Life ain't a bed of roses
Only to some i guess
But well , its been a great one!
Pretty much thankful

Plans for this year is not up yet
Was too busy to even think of any trips

Well i guess , being single for the past year
I've gain alot in knowing myself more
To love and accept my own flaws
And prolly change it for the better
Done things i wouldnt even thought of
Get to know strangers i havent meet before

I've got asked
Why i dint wana find another half yet?
The best answer i could give is
I'm still waiting ; waiting for the deserve one
I've been pretty much in the fast lane all these years
Now i would just wana take a step back and wait
Not in the days where pleasing someone was my job
Not in the days where calming the roaring sea was my job
Looking back on that mini me , 
I know i deserve much more than that

Being alone really izint that bad either
It makes you think of what you actually want
What is actually made you , you! 

Just be awesome
And an awesomeness will definitely get to you! 

Saturday, 19 December 2015

He is the Reason for this Season

Last month of the year...
December the happiest month of the year...
Its also the busiest month of the year for me


Here i am...
After 9 months of M.I.A from this blog world of mine
Too much things to write ,
At times its seriously hard to put it down in words.

Since its the last month of the year
Perhaps it shall be my last post of the year 2015
Lets walk with me down the path of memories , aite?

So much ups and downs this particular year
I've grown so much and learned so much of myself
The limits that i could reach
The fears that i could face 
The paranoia times that i could hold a calm attitude

Created a past that i wouldn't want to walk through again
A past that became a lesson to my present and future
A past that i could put it behind me against all odds
A past that reminds me of who i was
And never to be that again

Spread my wings and went against the wind
Solo trip was the only factor i was looking forward in 2015
I managed to go through it and had fun
"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass
But to learn how to dance in the rain"
Never knew i was that bold enough
Never knew i was alert enough
Never knew i was independent enough
Never knew i would have so much fun on solo 
I think i would do it again in the future
But i would still wish to travel the world with another half
Nothing is better than to see the world together
Two is better than One

A friend told me
That this is the first time he has ever seen me single for a while
True enough , im the kind to always go in a pair
I find myself to be happier
I find myself to be free from frustrations
I find myself to find the real me
I find myself to have time on my own
I shall embrace it till the other half finds his way to me
Till then Just Live Life! 

A quote says
"You're a Survivor cuz you've live 100% through your bad days 
As you're still alive today"
Be still and know that he is always right there to guide you through

Have a Jolly Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year 2016

Whats done is done ,
Whats over is over ,
Whats coming is yet to be reveal
So Smile , the world is yet to end. 

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Goat year

It is 2015!

*Meeeehhhh~
Meeehhh~*

March , 3rd month of the year.

What have i done . been . going to do for the year?
Eat . Sleep . Rave . Repeat
=p

Should i say , Life's been pretty dull?
or uninteresting?

MmmMmm..
Well , this is the working life.
Work . Eat . Sleep . Drama . Sleep
Heh!

One crazy thing i've done for the New Year is 
 dye my hair GREEN.
Yerrrp Hijau.
its for the sake of Once In a Lifetime thing.
Next prolly Blue?

i admit i have a sense of dry sarcasm
cuz no one really gets my cold joke
but i'll be the only one laughing out loud

Got a date & booked my tickets for the next huge thing in life!
*sneaky*
i'm not throwing any details.
So , hold on , hang in there till i blurt it out.
Words from others do put me off at times 
but i held in there.

Am in a waiting game for a call/confirmation 
i do so hope for a chance in life to shine

Total of 3 papers down , 
2 more to go!
Look on the brighter side my dear , only TWO.
i hope i could live to the day i graduate from books.
xD

GERD still torture me daily.
On calm days , i drink on gaviscon.
On bad days , i don't get any sleep at night.
it all depends on the food i take , the consistency and the amount
It'll be better to punch a hole at my tummy ,
put a pipe so i could turn it on to drain out the asid
& off it once done.

I get sleepy easily
I could yawn whole freaking day with tears
Why..why?!
Friends call me piggy , well it suits me well

Work , pretty not-busy for now
Seeing newcomers who are not adapting to the new environment makes me wonder
Perhaps i'm used to adapt to new surroundings pretty quickly

Should get myself to update this quaterly
as reading back to my old post brings me back to the moment that i wrote it.
the old me were kinda pessimist , 
been trying to change that since i realize it.
Still working on it
=)

 

 

Thursday, 18 September 2014

Thoughts...

Things just flows into my mind
while i'm watching dramas.
HEH! =)
Typical me.....

I'm sure every perfect humans too have flaws
whether is it hidden or not
obvious or not
Well , you just gotta spend more time with the person
to find out!!

Truthfully , whether couples or best friends
There is a time when you dislikes each others behavior
But stop & think , that person doesn't grow up with you
of course he/she doesn't know whether you dislike it or not?
Yes , sure , you could tell them off
but it takes time to feel comfortable with a person from another mother

Actually dramas could be your very most useful mirror in life
you see things from the dramas are actually the same as reality!
From relationships to family probs , 
Who doesn't have any of it?!
Your life might be too comfy , but wait for the timer to go off
the BOM will actually blast!
Perhaps , it might hurt much more if its too perfect.

Life izin't a bed of Rose
So TRUE yet so unbelievable!
Some born with a Silver spoon , some had to go through life's hardship
Some easily met THE ONE , some had to go through multiple heart breaks
Izin't it unfair?
BUT....think.
They may get things their way in life , however there are things they don't
Some might get all broken up inside but they have awesome bunch of people around them
So , shall we try to look at the bright side , Aye?

It's never easy , trying.
But keep going , even rubber bands get loose if you've stretch it for too long.
=D

& another thing i've learned , 
Is to cherish the moment.
Never look back , never regret , never repeat the same mistakes again.
Life's too short to repeat mistakes! Use it to learn new lessons!

Saturday, 2 August 2014

我会牢牢地记住

我所曾经受过的伤痛


悲伤;经验;就是生活上的成长。

以前的我 ,不知笨到那个地步
也不知道我怎么承受那七年。
想想回去,我都会对自己自悲

见天的戏剧,让我觉得我当时应该反醒了 
“你的幸福不会痛苦吗?”
会,当然会!
可是我却当时没感觉到。

你曾经说过,我不像个女孩
因为我从来不喜欢打扮。
你说我没女人味
因为我不喜欢Pedi&Manicure
你说过,你觉得原来你是跟一个男孩交往
你说过很多令人伤心慈心的话
可是当时我还真心的爱你。

谢谢您所伤我的一切
这让我跟坚强,跟爱自己
永远不会在让自己为你这些男人陷害

女人不是您家里养的狗
说来就来,说去就去!
也更加不是您的游戏
说停就停,说走就走!

您所给的伤,还不能够消灭
毕竟你当我是狗都不如。
我怎么能忘记?
对,我还可以当个朋友来对待
可是我所经过的痛苦自我所知。

Monday, 21 July 2014

Coming 8th Month!

Oh Gosh!!

It's nearly the ending of Juuuuulllllyyyy~?

Well this is my 2nd post for the year

=) Been real lazy to blog as insta & fb had taken away my daily life updates


Though things are daily updated on the surface , 
the inner thoughts are still kept within me.

I may seem pretty happening on the outside , 
but Words just had to contained inside.
i don't know when it'll EXPLODE?
perhaps~ it won't?
I would love it to slip it out of my mouth to let ppl know
HEY! IT'S MY FREAKING LIFE!
SHUT UP & MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS ; 
I KNOW MY STAND ; I KNOW MY VALUES
I could still judge what's right & wrong!!
& it's my freaking freedom to waste my time on you or not.
so , just SHUT UP!

Will i be able to say it out?
Hell no. That's life babey!
Suck it up & keep your head held high.
People may judge ; criticize ; lecture
but damn i'm one TOUGH lady to be messed around with.

Life still goes on whether i like it or not , 
its only HUMANS~

Work , Study , Fun , Travel

 I'd try to enjoy to the fullest of life.

Why the heck worry?!
It's just to short to dwell in thoughts of complicatism

Just live it all to GOD ; 
For he will carry your burdens & guide you to the correct path
=D

Was once in depression last year
i remembered wondering why do i need to be put in such situation.
I kept asking WHY? but i know there's no answer to it
An aunty in church pulled me aside & ask
I bet she's the only one who could read me.
After sharing her story , well it seems like what was i going through
so i decided to put everything to HIM ,
let HIM lead me on.

Nothing in life comes easy ,
If everything were easy , will you even cherish it?
Will you even feel the lost when it's gone?

Wokays , apparently i've exercised too much the past few weeks
& my knees are giving me the *Can you pls take rest?!*
FINE!
I've just got binged into gym these days
Not sweating it off feels FAT , literally~
cuz people had been complimenting that i'm too FAT!

So what if i'm FAT?!
Will you be happier if i were Bulimic?!
The tongues are SHARPER than KNIVES!
so watch out what you'd say to another person
cuz hurtful words will reach to the core of the other person.
  

 

 

Wednesday, 1 January 2014

1314

Beginning of a New Year

The year of Horse 2014

May it bring us happiness

& health too~


2013 , what more can i say
past 6 months had a huge impact on me
shall i list them down?
1) From a temp to a permanent post! * Praise the Lord!*
2) Killer classes after work lasted till nearly 10pm each time
3) Added workload ; responsibility and working hours
4) Got into an accident ; for which i had to chase the one who banged my car to pay up
5) First time organizing a Family Church Camp
6) Been to the doc for chest probs
7) Been taking medicine to help me to sleep at night. *I shall stop it from now onwards*
8) Stressed up with a hectic life
9) Ji Mui for my best friend's wedding
10) Got an increase in allowance from the boss =)
11) Exams!! I hope i pass P6!

Well its 11 items on the list for now.
I COULD REST!
Thank you for such a wonderful year.

Straight after exams , down to details for camp.
I love organizing but i dint know there is so much details put into it.
Thank you for all the thank yous & encouragement for organizing this camp , 
& i thank god it all went smoothly.
I've learned to be patience and to accept that every single one of us have different personality.
Give & take ; you can't always have it your way
=D

Bout the pills i take to sleep , 
No! its not sleeping pills , it is lighter like flu meds which are drowsy.
& no my parents din know i took it for 6 months through.
When i have too much things in mind , 
the brain just could not rest.
If i don't sleep , i'll get a very bad chest pain & unable to sleep
So , therefore to prevent it , i took it.
For now , there's lesser things to be worried of 
I shall stop it ASAP!
I pray that i shall finish my studies this very year ,
at least only work stress is bearable.

Yes , i got a permanent post now
=)
as happy as a lil kid who got a candy!
Was paid a Diploma's salary ; 
lotsa complications here & there ; 
had to be patience with the management as my boss promised me
to give me extra allowance  to be paid equally to others.
I thank god he kept his word ;
so yes I AM VERY HAPPY!
at least the added hours i've put through is worth while

Studies is put on hold till after results are out.
so YAY! FREEDOM for a while.

So much going on past year,
even thought of just disappearing from this hectic world
& just travel the world.
I shall learn to handle stress from this lesson
=)

May 2014 be good to me.
Though lotsa Weddings are lining up!!!!
A year filled with Weddings of people i've known.
When will be mine?
In 5 years time 
=p

Have yourself a wonderful New Year loves.
Be Bless & Bless Others as well.


Sunday, 10 November 2013

Live Your Life

"Everybody wanna hold your hand
Everybody wanna shine that bright
Everybody wanna say they can
Everybody wanna live your life

Everybody wanna talk like you
Only wanna do the things you do
'Cause they always gonna turn out right
Everybody wanna live your life"

Mika - Live Your  Life


At times i feel like giving up on everything.
Life is just too hectic to live in
No time for dramas , no time to relax.
Classes twice , sometimes trice per-week ;
Exams around the corner ;
Organizing church camp ;
OT for work purpose ; 
Gosh , i feel like i've hit the ceiling.

I've got no room to just breathe~
Even had to visit the doc cuz breathing was hard
Chest tight ; even sitting down makes me gasp for air.

Why oh Why do i take up so much burden for myself?
Would you live in my shoes for a week?
Driving to class takes an hour to reach!
not to mention class is straight after working hours.

Yes i do complain , 
but what to do?
Hardships in the beginning might bear fruits later on in life.
Well i do hope so!
if not im doing it for nothing.

Throwing tantrums gets me no where,
complaints too.

Well , just gota suck it up & ; keep moving on!



Sunday, 13 October 2013

承诺

什么是承诺?

Should a person believe?

Or should they not?

 Promises made , however it turns out to be lies.

Shall one be contented with the promises?? 

In fact , i've tried hard to believe but in vain

Why? Izit that hard to be a guy?

Or my fate is to meet some jerks filled with lies?

Is this the game for you guys?

Relationship meant like a trash?

To ignore the person who's mad?

I dislike to be treated like a trash ,

to be ignored when i'm mad ,

to be a game when you're bored.

One Bad Thing shall cover 10 Good things you've done

by ignoring me.

Do You Know that i feel left out?

Do You Know that you are Unfair?

Loneliness kills & i totally hate that the most ,

 but you'll totally ignore it.

Do you even know that i cudn't fully trust you?

Too bad , WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!

 


Friday, 23 August 2013

The Return

The prodigal writer returns.......

=)
so much to say but too lazy to write!
can i just have a gadget which capture my voice
& write it down for me?
cz my brain works faster than my fingers.

hmmm..rant?
nope , much happy with work.
Freshie alwys gets harsh comments at their work ,
it's just so normal
but im lucky to have been put at a place 
where surrounding are much helpful to guide me through.

This month ; still going on ; will go on 
till godknowswhen my supervisor will be back.
She had some emergency so she had to take leave from work
so , yes , i gota handle all by myself
=/
Well not all , at least i have to review it with my manager
before sending my work out.
But its usually , i do the work , hand it over to my supervisor
with explanation & she would review it with the manager.
However now , i gota go straight to the manager.
No , he's not bad at all
it is just dat he is a perfectionist.
So , yeah , you get it?!
But he's willing to teach & guide me , 
i take that as a private consultation/training for the job.
It's real tiring to answer the *whys*

You think this is bad? Having to review with manager?
Think about , i gota deal with other dept's manager/dept head / Overseas US team!!
You have no idea that i had to crack my head each time i sent out emails
Using *Big Fat Huge Words* each time , kills the brain.
HAhahahaha~
cz i din't wana look tiny.
They'll be like *Who are you to decide?* My post is higher leh!
But nah , they are not like dat.
I just use Gigantic words to look smart , that's all
=D
1 sentence i wrote :
*Customization will raise questionable speculation on our company's integrity*
HAAH , okay , well , not that huge words anyway.
But seriously , its not that my english is so Geng anyway.
Just wana appear as Professional in my job.

Everytime my line phone rings, 
I'll be Shiiit! Who's This?!
Faster check the address book as they have the names & position of the person.
Why?! Why this Unit Manager is calling me?
Oh no~ have i done wrong??
>.<
hahahahah~
Dramaqueen aren't i?
Im glad , though they maybe in a higher position,
they are humble enough to teach me.
For that , im Blessed!

Don't say my Director,
He may have taught us valuable experiences,
however , he is quick to put one down too.
For me , i feel as a leader / a senior / anyone elder ,
The Most important thing to do is motivate your subordinates.
Without them , you are nothing ,
without you , they are nothing.
Treat others like how you would want to be treated by the upper management.
One bad apple , destroys the whole basket of apples.

I've wrote much 
but still loads to go!!!

hmmm....another
i find it hard to share my inner thoughts with ppl.
Sharing at Church makes it even worst.
I don't wana be the talk of the *town*
for me sharing in church is forbidden as it shed light to the real you
& ppl will take that and hack you back from the back.
I find it hard to trust ppl at church , 
to me , some are culprits.
Self proclaim holy of holyness person.
Once you let a tiger in , it won't be tame.

Skeptical coz i had this in the past.
Members stab members
well , i know working world is also like that
No?

The one & only person who really knows me is
Abba Father Above
=)
I find it hard to trust , 
total open up myself to a person.
As they may not know the real feeling cz they are not walking in my shoes.
 Therefore , different probs , i share with diff ppl.
It is also awesome to have different ppl in my life.

TRUST is a huge thing for me,
gota gain it , i won't just hand it over to you.

 Why other ppl could get all so famous by writting blog only , 
why cudnt i?!
hahaha~
Aint pretty , aint bitchy , aint fashionista , aint socialist
just an ordinary girl who's writting
to improve on her writing skills.
Actually , i think , blogging really helps
It helps in ways that you can actually write down important info to get through another person by email.
You should read emails by the team in Xiamen & Hangzhou.
Can make a person faint!
>.<
Direct translation. Bahahaha~ sorry if i offended any one
My english aint that good tho , i alwys get corrected for my grammar.
 

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

Risen ~

Woah what a record!
The last i blogged was last year august.
Its been half a year rite?
=)


Minutes , hours , days , weeks , months
passes by *phew* in a snap of the fingers.

Things happened so fast 
till its hard to just take a deep breath.

Landed a contract job , 
wishing it would change to permanent after 3 months
but it didn't.
As a matter of fact , 
i just got the offer TODAY! 
WWWEeeeeee~!
*Overjoyed!*
it feels like an achievement ,
as its my 1st permanent job ever.
One day when im old ,
i shall look back to this very day.
Which forms my career path for my near future.

Well audit was my 1st real job ,
but i hated it.
Gave up after only a month of torture
as i cudnt take the scolding from my senior bitch.
It made me phobia towards auditors , 
bad character , no patience , full of anger.

Took out audit from the list 
& search for offices instead as admin or finance post.
Little did i know there is such job on earth called costing.
Went in without any know-hows or anything about the job.
However , for the past 6 months
i've learned much. 
Learned about the manufacturing industry ,
& how a factory works.
It's really interesting. 

There's so many levels in the management , 
therefore politics are much played in there.
& i've learned all you gota do is play neutral , 
trust no one but yourself.

Costing ; so much to learn ; so much to know.
Its out from my comfort zone of accounts
but its an awesome path to learn from the start.
How things starts & done.

Number & figures are important ;
so as the components ; no. of chips ; hours working on a board
means much to us too.
im getting the best of both worlds as i could say.
Keeping the cost low ; not foregoing any cost incurred later on.
We gota go down to the production line
to see ; to learn how the engineers does it.
Whether izit according to what we are quoting ; or
we are quoting on a discount.
So basically , we gota know what engineers know.
AWESOME rite? 
so i dun need to get a cert to be an engineer. 
AHAHA~

For now , i love what i am doing.
Though its stressful & tiring ,
at times wrong quotes would get the company into bankruptcy.
I shall stay till i could find another opening in other fields.
Would love to learn more while i still could.
Just to see what i really want to do
for the rest of my life as a human being
=)

That's all for now,
Kudos~!

Monday, 8 October 2012

Depression Kills

have you ever heard a pregnant girl saying :

* i would wana kill myself & the baby cuz its making me ugly*


Depressed people are everywhere
& it annoys me to see it or to read it

i was once like that
been there , went through it , came out from it

its like a thick dark clouds 
always covering or sheltering u away from happiness
Whenever a person's under depression
they would think of ways to hurt themselves
or they would not let others be happy
cuz they aren't

This crazy bitch , i would say
complaints about her life & how da baby had made her ugly
As to her , before getting pregnant
she's a total beauty with no flaws.
Yes , i would agree that she's prettier than an average jane

how could a sane person say that to an innocent baby?
she's the one who had unprotected sex & got pregnant!
if you din't wana be married at a young age ,
then why did such a stupid thing?
educated or not ; you have the brains to think for yourself

Another thing ; Boastful is what u are that's why u have no real friends
Boasting how much she had earned 
& how much thousands she had just spend in a day
what's the use of saying that on a social network?
Materialistic people are on the rise these days.

Cherish what you have & be grateful
at least your husband got you pregnant & wanted to marry you
what if the guy had ran away?

Get a counselor , get help
YOU SERIOUSLY NEED SOME HELP!
or prolly you had been diagnosed with depression & you just don't have a clue.



Wednesday, 29 August 2012

new addition

Oh beloved Bloggie ,

thy servant had abandoned you much

Been busy? Lazy?
hehehe..all sum up~
oh yeah just got pics from my sis's wedding shall i post 1 up? 
=)

an addition to my family
<3 p="p">
Mr & Mrs Julian Tan
so not used to call him * jie fu * yet
i still call him julian kor kor
=p

Ummm...lets see
Life's pretty intense busy last whole week
end up sick this week
Spend the beginning of the week at KL
& end of the week at Camerons!
Shop & Eat till i drop in KL ;
Eat till im Fat in Camerons.
Life's goooooood~

Starting work next weekkk~
wooohooooo*
not asking much , i just want a permanent position
after all this contract jobs
>.<"
its sickening to start anew 
new people ; new procedure ; new job
if you knw what i mean.

Gona meet my secondary babes after so long, tonite!
YAY! a happy girl much.

Love it or Hate it
Life still goes on.
Be it Being Happy or Sad
Days still passes by.

Cried a few times as patchy was so weak
till everyone thinks that putting him to sleep is the best thing to do for him
i wudnt let anyone do that ,
ending a life is a cruel thing , 
be it an animal who cudnt talk to voice out his thoughts!
Stroke got to him , 
till at times he cudnt control his own saliva
My baby boy , i wudnt know what would i do without him~
he has been there for the whole 11years!
nites when my tears cudnt stop flowing , 
i would sit outside with him ,
stroking him as i pour out how sad i am to him ,
he just sits there quietly listening to me.
Bathe him today ,
all he did was lay down the whole time
as he has no strength to stand up
its very sad looking at him like this.

am i cruel letting him suffer like this
because of my selfishness for not letting him go?
ihavenoidea
=/


Saturday, 4 August 2012

Trauma? perhaps~

Happened weeks ago~

*just had no time/ lazy to blog bout it*

=p

 The boy was sick,
so at nite we decide to visit the doc
*This happened at Crystal Point , Penang*
Parked , went down the car without my bag
as the boyfie asked me to put in the car
so fine , i did~
pillow & sweater over my bag
& its totally invisible except for the bump~
that was a super bad choice!

Walked to the 24hours shop to get some bread
as we walk to the shop ,
we gota walk by our car.
nothing seems wrong , no suspicious people seen

after buying the stuff we wanted ,
we walked back to the car
as we were walking back ,
there's a super loud turbo car ramming his engine
our focus turned to him & neglected to see what's happening to our car

as i walk towards the car door
i saw my bag was on the floor ;
heartbeat stopped for a second ;
WHY IZIT out here?!
dint i put it on my seat?! 
walked closer , i hear the shattering of glass
IT JUST HAPPENED FEW SECONDS AGO!
i gasp! ; boyfie saw it as he opened his side of the door
SHIT!
straight away he took out his metal bar 
to search for the culprit!
i stand there , stunned , shock
quickly search my bag ; anything gone missing?!
Thank god nothing was gone ; the only valuable stuff in my bag 
was an old SE hp others were just food stuff 
=p

He went round the car park area
not too far away as he din't wana leave me alone
as we were standing there , checking the car
a man in short & specs walked by
i din wana point at him nor tell my boyfie mayb its him
cz im not too sure
but i kept staring at him as he walk by

the thieve din manage to take anything
cz that time we were walking back to our car
but the side mirror was damage & its costly!
cudnt make any police report as nothing gone missing

shaken , got home still cudnt believe that it happened so fast!
dat idiot is still on the road , breaking more cars 
I pray that one day , your both hands would be crushed
end up being a disable feler~

So many robbery case on FB
made me even more scared staying in this huge  house
at nite i just couldn't sleep
even if i head to bed by 12
any small lil noise i hear
i would get up & check
would eventually fall asleep by 3am ; maybe
or God knows what time

Trauma cuz in KL years ago
 ; my house was ransacked by the robbers
luckily no one was home
but its such a horrible experience to go thru
really scare the hell outta u

Monday, 23 July 2012

Boil ; Boiled ; Boiling

Jerkass - a very lousy guy

Welcome to read a story 
about one Jerkass ; who had lived for nearly 60yrs
50? 60? 
who cares~ if the jerkass dies
i confirm ; He'll rot in HELL

 A son he is ;
as he is born to this earth ;
he/she would have their parents to thank for
for bringing them to this earth
& for bringing them up to face this cruel reality
but with too much protection since young
ended up him befriended Stupidity~

Brain in the Ass
as he is brainless ; he don't think
or i should say Neva Think!

Talking bout that jerk could get a person's blood pressure up
i swear its true
as a pig is smarter than he is
dumb & dumber?
HAH!i bet he could be one of them

asked to help to do a favor
to take turns in dropping his very own mother to church
& what the heck he replied?
*Oh i have service to attend & after that i have meetings
& i only have a car*
so that means , he can't !
What bullshit~!
wife cudnt drive?!

another favor to ask
Please help to buy food for your mother on thursday & friday
*Oh thursday i got Prayer Meeting*
so that means , he can't

FYI , da church is less than 5 mins away
from his house & his own mother's hse
just takeaways also you couldn't do?!

Act HOLY to get your sins cleanse away?!
i tell you ; 
YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG 
as you dint follow 1 of your 10 commandments

i so wana smack his head
but i know the adults wudn't let me do so
When will this jerkass ever wakes up?
all he wants is Money Money Money!
you call yourself a christian?!
Shitty people like him brings the face of God down
He who attends all church activities
won't prove that you are holy
nor God would definitely write your name down
for you to enter Heaven

Oh why does this person ever exist?
we should disowned him!
but if we do so , his family would be affected
as he is the only jerkass we wana kick!

House & Car all bought by his Dad
owned NOTHING!
sold house ; money used up
stop work for 3-4 years 
stayed at his parent's hse for FREE during those years
Staying behind parent's house ; 5 mins away
but only visit his parents ONCE EVERY TWO MONTHS
Tell me how to NOT HATE this very own jerkass in the family?
took his parents for granted ; 
no money , he'll come asking 
parents refuse to give ;
he got mad at them & say that they neva loved him


i myself as a Christian is ASHAMED to say that
he is one of us too
he couldn't be saved anymore
he's been living a lie to everyone
trying to prove that he has changed

i cudnt rest my case..
seeing him behaving like this to his own mother
makes me wana scold him so so much
i feel bad for the wife ; for marrying such a lousy person
& for his kids ; im sad to say you have a lousy dad
when he is old ; just throw him at the old folks home
don't bother to visit him as he din bother bout his own parents too