Coming 8th Month!

Oh Gosh!!

It's nearly the ending of Juuuuulllllyyyy~?

Well this is my 2nd post for the year

=) Been real lazy to blog as insta & fb had taken away my daily life updates

Though things are daily updated on the surface , 

the inner thoughts are still kept within me.

I may seem pretty happening on the outside , 

but Words just had to contained inside.

i don't know when it'll EXPLODE?

perhaps~ it won't?

I would love it to slip it out of my mouth to let ppl know

HEY! IT'S MY FREAKING LIFE!

SHUT UP & MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS ; 

I KNOW MY STAND ; I KNOW MY VALUES

I could still judge what's right & wrong!!

& it's my freaking freedom to waste my time on you or not.

so , just SHUT UP!

Will i be able to say it out?

Hell no. That's life babey!

Suck it up & keep your head held high.

People may judge ; criticize ; lecture

but damn i'm one TOUGH lady to be messed around with.

Life still goes on whether i like it or not , 

its only HUMANS~

Work , Study , Fun , Travel

 I'd try to enjoy to the fullest of life.

Why the heck worry?!

It's just to short to dwell in thoughts of complicatism

Just live it all to GOD ; 

For he will carry your burdens & guide you to the correct path

=D

Was once in depression last year

i remembered wondering why do i need to be put in such situation.

I kept asking WHY? but i know there's no answer to it

An aunty in church pulled me aside & ask

I bet she's the only one who could read me.

After sharing her story , well it seems like what was i going through

so i decided to put everything to HIM ,

let HIM lead me on.

Nothing in life comes easy ,

If everything were easy , will you even cherish it?

Will you even feel the lost when it's gone?

Wokays , apparently i've exercised too much the past few weeks

& my knees are giving me the *Can you pls take rest?!*

FINE!

I've just got binged into gym these days

Not sweating it off feels FAT , literally~

cuz people had been complimenting that i'm too FAT!

So what if i'm FAT?!

Will you be happier if i were Bulimic?!

The tongues are SHARPER than KNIVES!

so watch out what you'd say to another person

cuz hurtful words will reach to the core of the other person.

  

 

 

1314

Beginning of a New Year

The year of Horse 2014

May it bring us happiness

& health too~

2013 , what more can i say

past 6 months had a huge impact on me

shall i list them down?

1) From a temp to a permanent post! * Praise the Lord!*

2) Killer classes after work lasted till nearly 10pm each time

3) Added workload ; responsibility and working hours

4) Got into an accident ; for which i had to chase the one who banged my car to pay up

5) First time organizing a Family Church Camp

6) Been to the doc for chest probs

7) Been taking medicine to help me to sleep at night. *I shall stop it from now onwards*

8) Stressed up with a hectic life

9) Ji Mui for my best friend's wedding

10) Got an increase in allowance from the boss =)

11) Exams!! I hope i pass P6!

Well its 11 items on the list for now.

I COULD REST!

Thank you for such a wonderful year.

Straight after exams , down to details for camp.

I love organizing but i dint know there is so much details put into it.

Thank you for all the thank yous & encouragement for organizing this camp , 

& i thank god it all went smoothly.

I've learned to be patience and to accept that every single one of us have different personality.

Give & take ; you can't always have it your way

=D

Bout the pills i take to sleep , 

No! its not sleeping pills , it is lighter like flu meds which are drowsy.

& no my parents din know i took it for 6 months through.

When i have too much things in mind , 

the brain just could not rest.

If i don't sleep , i'll get a very bad chest pain & unable to sleep

So , therefore to prevent it , i took it.

For now , there's lesser things to be worried of 

I shall stop it ASAP!

I pray that i shall finish my studies this very year ,

at least only work stress is bearable.

Yes , i got a permanent post now

=)

as happy as a lil kid who got a candy!

Was paid a Diploma's salary ; 

lotsa complications here & there ; 

had to be patience with the management as my boss promised me

to give me extra allowance  to be paid equally to others.

I thank god he kept his word ;

so yes I AM VERY HAPPY!

at least the added hours i've put through is worth while

Studies is put on hold till after results are out.

so YAY! FREEDOM for a while.

So much going on past year,

even thought of just disappearing from this hectic world

& just travel the world.

I shall learn to handle stress from this lesson

=)

May 2014 be good to me.

Though lotsa Weddings are lining up!!!!

A year filled with Weddings of people i've known.

When will be mine?

In 5 years time 

=p

Have yourself a wonderful New Year loves.

Be Bless & Bless Others as well.

Live Your Life

"Everybody wanna hold your hand
Everybody wanna shine that bright
Everybody wanna say they can
Everybody wanna live your life
Everybody wanna talk like you
Only wanna do the things you do
'Cause they always gonna turn out right
Everybody wanna live your life"

Mika - Live Your  Life

At times i feel like giving up on everything.

Life is just too hectic to live in

No time for dramas , no time to relax.

Classes twice , sometimes trice per-week ;

Exams around the corner ;

Organizing church camp ;

OT for work purpose ; 

Gosh , i feel like i've hit the ceiling.

I've got no room to just breathe~

Even had to visit the doc cuz breathing was hard

Chest tight ; even sitting down makes me gasp for air.

Why oh Why do i take up so much burden for myself?

Would you live in my shoes for a week?

Driving to class takes an hour to reach!

not to mention class is straight after working hours.

Yes i do complain , 

but what to do?

Hardships in the beginning might bear fruits later on in life.

Well i do hope so!

if not im doing it for nothing.

Throwing tantrums gets me no where,

complaints too.

Well , just gota suck it up & ; keep moving on!

承诺

什么是承诺?

Should a person believe?

Or should they not?

 Promises made , however it turns out to be lies.

Shall one be contented with the promises?? 

In fact , i've tried hard to believe but in vain

Why? Izit that hard to be a guy?

Or my fate is to meet some jerks filled with lies?

Is this the game for you guys?

Relationship meant like a trash?

To ignore the person who's mad?

I dislike to be treated like a trash ,

to be ignored when i'm mad ,

to be a game when you're bored.

One Bad Thing shall cover 10 Good things you've done

by ignoring me.

Do You Know that i feel left out?

Do You Know that you are Unfair?

Loneliness kills & i totally hate that the most ,

 but you'll totally ignore it.

Do you even know that i cudn't fully trust you?

Too bad , WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!

 

The Return

The prodigal writer returns.......

=)

so much to say but too lazy to write!

can i just have a gadget which capture my voice

& write it down for me?

cz my brain works faster than my fingers.

hmmm..rant?

nope , much happy with work.

Freshie alwys gets harsh comments at their work ,

it's just so normal

but im lucky to have been put at a place 

where surrounding are much helpful to guide me through.

This month ; still going on ; will go on 

till godknowswhen my supervisor will be back.

She had some emergency so she had to take leave from work

so , yes , i gota handle all by myself

=/

Well not all , at least i have to review it with my manager

before sending my work out.

But its usually , i do the work , hand it over to my supervisor

with explanation & she would review it with the manager.

However now , i gota go straight to the manager.

No , he's not bad at all

it is just dat he is a perfectionist.

So , yeah , you get it?!

But he's willing to teach & guide me , 

i take that as a private consultation/training for the job.

It's real tiring to answer the *whys*

You think this is bad? Having to review with manager?

Think about , i gota deal with other dept's manager/dept head / Overseas US team!!

You have no idea that i had to crack my head each time i sent out emails

Using *Big Fat Huge Words* each time , kills the brain.

HAhahahaha~

cz i din't wana look tiny.

They'll be like *Who are you to decide?* My post is higher leh!

But nah , they are not like dat.

I just use Gigantic words to look smart , that's all

=D

1 sentence i wrote :

*Customization will raise questionable speculation on our company's integrity*

HAAH , okay , well , not that huge words anyway.

But seriously , its not that my english is so Geng anyway.

Just wana appear as Professional in my job.

Everytime my line phone rings, 

I'll be Shiiit! Who's This?!

Faster check the address book as they have the names & position of the person.

Why?! Why this Unit Manager is calling me?

Oh no~ have i done wrong??

>.<

hahahahah~

Dramaqueen aren't i?

Im glad , though they maybe in a higher position,

they are humble enough to teach me.

For that , im Blessed!

Don't say my Director,

He may have taught us valuable experiences,

however , he is quick to put one down too.

For me , i feel as a leader / a senior / anyone elder ,

The Most important thing to do is motivate your subordinates.

Without them , you are nothing ,

without you , they are nothing.

Treat others like how you would want to be treated by the upper management.

One bad apple , destroys the whole basket of apples.

I've wrote much 

but still loads to go!!!

hmmm....another

i find it hard to share my inner thoughts with ppl.

Sharing at Church makes it even worst.

I don't wana be the talk of the *town*

for me sharing in church is forbidden as it shed light to the real you

& ppl will take that and hack you back from the back.

I find it hard to trust ppl at church , 

to me , some are culprits.

Self proclaim holy of holyness person.

Once you let a tiger in , it won't be tame.

Skeptical coz i had this in the past.

Members stab members

well , i know working world is also like that

No?

The one & only person who really knows me is

Abba Father Above

=)

I find it hard to trust , 

total open up myself to a person.

As they may not know the real feeling cz they are not walking in my shoes.

 Therefore , different probs , i share with diff ppl.

It is also awesome to have different ppl in my life.

TRUST is a huge thing for me,

gota gain it , i won't just hand it over to you.

 Why other ppl could get all so famous by writting blog only , 

why cudnt i?!

hahaha~

Aint pretty , aint bitchy , aint fashionista , aint socialist

just an ordinary girl who's writting

to improve on her writing skills.

Actually , i think , blogging really helps

It helps in ways that you can actually write down important info to get through another person by email.

You should read emails by the team in Xiamen & Hangzhou.

Can make a person faint!

>.<

Direct translation. Bahahaha~ sorry if i offended any one

My english aint that good tho , i alwys get corrected for my grammar.

 

Risen ~

Woah what a record!
The last i blogged was last year august.
Its been half a year rite?
=)

Minutes , hours , days , weeks , months

passes by *phew* in a snap of the fingers.

Things happened so fast 

till its hard to just take a deep breath.

Landed a contract job , 

wishing it would change to permanent after 3 months

but it didn't.

As a matter of fact , 

i just got the offer TODAY! 

WWWEeeeeee~!

*Overjoyed!*

it feels like an achievement ,

as its my 1st permanent job ever.

One day when im old ,

i shall look back to this very day.

Which forms my career path for my near future.

Well audit was my 1st real job ,

but i hated it.

Gave up after only a month of torture

as i cudnt take the scolding from my senior bitch.

It made me phobia towards auditors , 

bad character , no patience , full of anger.

Took out audit from the list 

& search for offices instead as admin or finance post.

Little did i know there is such job on earth called costing.

Went in without any know-hows or anything about the job.

However , for the past 6 months

i've learned much. 

Learned about the manufacturing industry ,

& how a factory works.

It's really interesting. 

There's so many levels in the management , 

therefore politics are much played in there.

& i've learned all you gota do is play neutral , 

trust no one but yourself.

Costing ; so much to learn ; so much to know.

Its out from my comfort zone of accounts

but its an awesome path to learn from the start.

How things starts & done.

Number & figures are important ;

so as the components ; no. of chips ; hours working on a board

means much to us too.

im getting the best of both worlds as i could say.

Keeping the cost low ; not foregoing any cost incurred later on.

We gota go down to the production line

to see ; to learn how the engineers does it.

Whether izit according to what we are quoting ; or

we are quoting on a discount.

So basically , we gota know what engineers know.

AWESOME rite? 

so i dun need to get a cert to be an engineer. 

AHAHA~

For now , i love what i am doing.

Though its stressful & tiring ,

at times wrong quotes would get the company into bankruptcy.

I shall stay till i could find another opening in other fields.

Would love to learn more while i still could.

Just to see what i really want to do

for the rest of my life as a human being

=)

That's all for now,

Kudos~!

Depression Kills

have you ever heard a pregnant girl saying :

* i would wana kill myself & the baby cuz its making me ugly*

Depressed people are everywhere

& it annoys me to see it or to read it

i was once like that

been there , went through it , came out from it

its like a thick dark clouds 

always covering or sheltering u away from happiness

Whenever a person's under depression

they would think of ways to hurt themselves

or they would not let others be happy

cuz they aren't

This crazy bitch , i would say

complaints about her life & how da baby had made her ugly

As to her , before getting pregnant

she's a total beauty with no flaws.

Yes , i would agree that she's prettier than an average jane

how could a sane person say that to an innocent baby?

she's the one who had unprotected sex & got pregnant!

if you din't wana be married at a young age ,

then why did such a stupid thing?

educated or not ; you have the brains to think for yourself

Another thing ; Boastful is what u are that's why u have no real friends

Boasting how much she had earned 

& how much thousands she had just spend in a day

what's the use of saying that on a social network?

Materialistic people are on the rise these days.

Cherish what you have & be grateful

at least your husband got you pregnant & wanted to marry you

what if the guy had ran away?

Get a counselor , get help

YOU SERIOUSLY NEED SOME HELP!

or prolly you had been diagnosed with depression & you just don't have a clue.

new addition

Oh beloved Bloggie ,

thy servant had abandoned you much

Been busy? Lazy?

hehehe..all sum up~

oh yeah just got pics from my sis's wedding shall i post 1 up? 

=)

an addition to my family

<3 p="p">

Mr & Mrs Julian Tan

so not used to call him * jie fu * yet

i still call him julian kor kor

=p

Ummm...lets see

Life's pretty intense busy last whole week

end up sick this week

Spend the beginning of the week at KL

& end of the week at Camerons!

Shop & Eat till i drop in KL ;

Eat till im Fat in Camerons.

Life's goooooood~

Starting work next weekkk~

wooohooooo*

not asking much , i just want a permanent position

after all this contract jobs

>.<"

its sickening to start anew 

new people ; new procedure ; new job

if you knw what i mean.

Gona meet my secondary babes after so long, tonite!

YAY! a happy girl much.

Love it or Hate it

Life still goes on.

Be it Being Happy or Sad

Days still passes by.

Cried a few times as patchy was so weak

till everyone thinks that putting him to sleep is the best thing to do for him

i wudnt let anyone do that ,

ending a life is a cruel thing , 

be it an animal who cudnt talk to voice out his thoughts!

Stroke got to him , 

till at times he cudnt control his own saliva

My baby boy , i wudnt know what would i do without him~

he has been there for the whole 11years!

nites when my tears cudnt stop flowing , 

i would sit outside with him ,

stroking him as i pour out how sad i am to him ,

he just sits there quietly listening to me.

Bathe him today ,

all he did was lay down the whole time

as he has no strength to stand up

its very sad looking at him like this.

am i cruel letting him suffer like this

because of my selfishness for not letting him go?

ihavenoidea

=/

Trauma? perhaps~

Happened weeks ago~

*just had no time/ lazy to blog bout it*

=p

 The boy was sick,

so at nite we decide to visit the doc

*This happened at Crystal Point , Penang*

Parked , went down the car without my bag

as the boyfie asked me to put in the car

so fine , i did~

pillow & sweater over my bag

& its totally invisible except for the bump~

that was a super bad choice!

Walked to the 24hours shop to get some bread

as we walk to the shop ,

we gota walk by our car.

nothing seems wrong , no suspicious people seen

after buying the stuff we wanted ,

we walked back to the car

as we were walking back ,

there's a super loud turbo car ramming his engine

our focus turned to him & neglected to see what's happening to our car

as i walk towards the car door

i saw my bag was on the floor ;

heartbeat stopped for a second ;

WHY IZIT out here?!

dint i put it on my seat?! 

walked closer , i hear the shattering of glass

IT JUST HAPPENED FEW SECONDS AGO!

i gasp! ; boyfie saw it as he opened his side of the door

SHIT!

straight away he took out his metal bar 

to search for the culprit!

i stand there , stunned , shock

quickly search my bag ; anything gone missing?!

Thank god nothing was gone ; the only valuable stuff in my bag 

was an old SE hp others were just food stuff 

=p

He went round the car park area

not too far away as he din't wana leave me alone

as we were standing there , checking the car

a man in short & specs walked by

i din wana point at him nor tell my boyfie mayb its him

cz im not too sure

but i kept staring at him as he walk by

the thieve din manage to take anything

cz that time we were walking back to our car

but the side mirror was damage & its costly!

cudnt make any police report as nothing gone missing

shaken , got home still cudnt believe that it happened so fast!

dat idiot is still on the road , breaking more cars 

I pray that one day , your both hands would be crushed

end up being a disable feler~

So many robbery case on FB

made me even more scared staying in this huge  house

at nite i just couldn't sleep

even if i head to bed by 12

any small lil noise i hear

i would get up & check

would eventually fall asleep by 3am ; maybe

or God knows what time

Trauma cuz in KL years ago

 ; my house was ransacked by the robbers

luckily no one was home

but its such a horrible experience to go thru

really scare the hell outta u

Boil ; Boiled ; Boiling

Jerkass - a very lousy guy

Welcome to read a story 

about one Jerkass ; who had lived for nearly 60yrs

50? 60? 

who cares~ if the jerkass dies

i confirm ; He'll rot in HELL

 A son he is ;

as he is born to this earth ;

he/she would have their parents to thank for

for bringing them to this earth

& for bringing them up to face this cruel reality

but with too much protection since young

ended up him befriended Stupidity~

Brain in the Ass

as he is brainless ; he don't think

or i should say Neva Think!

Talking bout that jerk could get a person's blood pressure up

i swear its true

as a pig is smarter than he is

dumb & dumber?

HAH!i bet he could be one of them

asked to help to do a favor

to take turns in dropping his very own mother to church

& what the heck he replied?

*Oh i have service to attend & after that i have meetings

& i only have a car*

so that means , he can't !

What bullshit~!

wife cudnt drive?!

another favor to ask

Please help to buy food for your mother on thursday & friday

*Oh thursday i got Prayer Meeting*

so that means , he can't

FYI , da church is less than 5 mins away

from his house & his own mother's hse

just takeaways also you couldn't do?!

Act HOLY to get your sins cleanse away?!

i tell you ; 

YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG 

as you dint follow 1 of your 10 commandments

i so wana smack his head

but i know the adults wudn't let me do so

When will this jerkass ever wakes up?

all he wants is Money Money Money!

you call yourself a christian?!

Shitty people like him brings the face of God down

He who attends all church activities

won't prove that you are holy

nor God would definitely write your name down

for you to enter Heaven

Oh why does this person ever exist?

we should disowned him!

but if we do so , his family would be affected

as he is the only jerkass we wana kick!

House & Car all bought by his Dad

owned NOTHING!

sold house ; money used up

stop work for 3-4 years 

stayed at his parent's hse for FREE during those years

Staying behind parent's house ; 5 mins away

but only visit his parents ONCE EVERY TWO MONTHS

Tell me how to NOT HATE this very own jerkass in the family?

took his parents for granted ; 

no money , he'll come asking 

parents refuse to give ;

he got mad at them & say that they neva loved him

i myself as a Christian is ASHAMED to say that

he is one of us too

he couldn't be saved anymore

he's been living a lie to everyone

trying to prove that he has changed

i cudnt rest my case..

seeing him behaving like this to his own mother

makes me wana scold him so so much

i feel bad for the wife ; for marrying such a lousy person

& for his kids ; im sad to say you have a lousy dad

when he is old ; just throw him at the old folks home

don't bother to visit him as he din bother bout his own parents too