back to square one.

as i write this..

my tears neva stop rolling down my cheecks..

im seriously in a bad condition now..

as if i cud endure da pain of a knive poke straightly into my heart

cuz my heart is so much in pain now

dat it cud endure ny pain physically...

felt like my world juz crushed like dat...

felt like all my sacrifices been put to waste..

felt like im all left in tis world alone

and not evn a single bein cud heal it..

its been crushed

broken into millions of pieces

but it neva fails to be mend back to its original

u will neva knw how it reali feels till u experience it urself...

u may say im stupid to think of taking a knive to cut my heart out..

but u neva knw how it reali hurts...

it hurts to the core..

i knw time will heal..

but it will take months..or probably years..

i knw dun wat i did wrong to deserve this..

cuz all i juz wan was ur care..

is dat too much to ask for?

i keep tellin myself to think straight...

do not cry..

do not think stupidly

and do not act dumb...

i knw im irritating at time...

i knw im annoying at times..

but all i wanted was...

ur attention...

was tat too much?

past 3 days i was able to reali talk to u..

do u knw hw i wen thru those nites?

did u knw hw sad i was?

so much stuff on my brain..

so many complicated things..

i juz ned u there to console me..

was dat too much for u?

i stil cudnt stop myself from cryin...

da words u say reali pierce thru my heart..

im such a dumbo...

im such an stupid blonde bitch..

this year has been reali tough..

and it will be tougher cuz i hav to face it alone..

this year its like a curse for me...

a reali bad 1...

i tink i'll end up in hospital cuz of dehydration for crying too much..

not juz bcuz of u..

der is other reason to it..

i dun knw how to face it alone...

i tot i cud sought comfort in u wen im all left alone..

but now...

tables turned...

not evn u will be der for me ady...

it hurts...

it seriously hurts...

i knw i wasnt all ur fault..

blame it on my bitchy-ness..

i dun knw how am i to go thru for tonite.

Dark future....

SO.......

mah bro probably....or i shall say...mayb definitely....

goin to kl to work d....

he has been called for a second interview from World Vision...

i see him shifting to kl soon...tis year...

DANG!!!!

i gota live with my sister...and only her!!!

i dun see dat my future will be bright living with her...

will hav to live on her rules and her PMS mood flings!!

MY GAWD!!y did u punish me?!!i din do ny wrong...

its reali hard to live with her...

cuz she wudnt help me out...

unlike my bro...he helps me alot!

im dead im dead im dead!

i knw its not hard to live with ur own sis..
BUT u dun knw my sis!

her MOOD FLINGS KILLS!!

when she's nice..she is super nice..

but wen she is not..darn!u reali dig ur own grave!!

nyways..i dun see ny bright side living with her for another 3 years..GOSH!yea 3...

as i play as i joke as i watch my drama and as i laugh...

i din realise dat now is ady week 4!!!!

means i hav 3 more weeks to go till da sem ends..

OMG!!the clock is ticking and im still not studyin...

i beta gear up to face da war again!

(@.@)

lotsa fun things happen these few weeks...cuz der is not mush stress tis sem

we play we shop we hangout together alot!

snappin lotsa pics before we all go our separate ways..

BUT actually...most of us continuing in Penang TARC..hehehe

oni a few dat is leaving for kl...

da 1st day we meet..we are all totaly strangers to each other...

but as time goes by..

we click! and now...

its hard to say Goodbye....

my Latest FAV....

i found him...juz found him in youtube...
i luv his voice...superbly da BEST!
i tink he won indonesian idol...
super talented...u cud go youtube and check out his other vids...
worth watching..

i LOVE U AFGAN!heheheh....

xD

dun worry my dear...i still LOVE u da MOST!! =)

owh yeah....

TURN OFF YA LIGHTS ON

28th MARCH...

this SAT!

8.30pm til 9.30pm

EARTH DAY...

therefore plz participate in tis event...

its da 1st time Malaysia is actually participating..

SO.....

off ya lights and go hang around in MALLS...

hahahah....

except MIDVALLEY...cuz dey'll off all lights.

Owh SHUTUP YOU!

well...i did mention i worked last weekend rite?
it was Penang Food Fest and da biggest food expo in Malaysia...*actually quite small ah*
din hav da time to go walk around as i was working but on da last day i get to buy some fruit drinks..

1st day of work is super duper tiring...cuz i din expect its more tiring than PC fair..this is like non-stop pulling customer to try ur food sample..n u hav to talk alot as they are eating to convince them to buy...we actually hav to lie abit on stuff...*learn from those experience aunties!!*..hehe...2nd day was beta as i knw wat to talk about to da customers..but damn..my leg hurts alot!!..i go to da toilet frequently to sit in der..wahakakak...*curi tulang ler* xD

on da last day of work...ppl buyin food like der is no tomolo..and eating samples like they are so poor to buy da food...*kiasu kiasi attitude!*gosh...i was holding cuttlefish...and i hav to refill da samples every 30mins!!!aft refilling ppl flock to me as if im da food and they are da hungry fishes...aft finis dey juz walk away and din buy a thing...*geramnya aku*

workin those few days werent boring as i have frenz workin with me..juz dat we cudnt talk much while working..overall it was fun..great experience..wen thru da life of a sales person and its SUCKS!!!..no way im venturing into sales in da future!but for parttime job..its ok...

our stall...we open da earliest and closest da latest!uuurrrgggghh...

joyce , veron and moi

last day..all stocks had been packed and see da rubbish!eeeww...

our boss gave us RM100 credit to buy nythin from Bee Cheng Hiang..so this is wat i got

excludin dat oatmeal... xD

*bak kuah*...

drool Jordan DROOL!!!

muahahaha...at least i took a pic for u...

lalalalal~!

semua dibawah tak berkenaan with da above..

XD

had steamboat with mates...*luvly...yummy...tasty!!*

da pretty peeps...

6 of us actually...

one was taking da camera..muahahha..

and.....

my fav part of da week is.....

.

.

.

.

.

wen to my baby's college's street party...

actually was a carpark party...hehehe...

but it was reali fun...

had games..food...and...

dancing in da dark with flickering lights and super loud music!!!

outsiders wasnt allowed in but i manage to sneak in..lol

great nite dancing with u babe!

(^.^)

**************************************

owh u bitch!cud u shutup pls!!!

stop bossing me here and der...

and stop reminding me like im a LOSER for failing 2 subs...

SHUTUP cuz i dun wana hear ya voice..

damn annoying and irritating..

cud u juz leave me alone for a day

i wud b real grateful if u do...

SHUTUP and GET LOST for a day..

i'll be happy.

Da results of Boredom....

i luv shopping...

but wen i dun hav da cash i DO NOT shop...

however...parents came down penang last week n wen shopping...

so mum happily shopping and spent da whole time in da dressing room

therefore da results came out with these pics....

1st i was posing normally..utitlising da huge mirror

but i was reali too bored waiting for mum to change every clothes for me to see...

soooo....

i.....

xD

~will blog bout my work on da weekends soon~

Bz weekend...

this weekend will be a buzy one for me...

cuz im gona WORK!...

yea...work for juz 3 days for Penang Food Festival at PISA

and guess wat i'm selling???....

BAK KUAH!!hehehe...dry meat *for those who dun knw...its famous during CNY!*

will hav extra $$ to spend for da month...

muahaha...but 1st im gona buy with dat money is....

a KOREAN dictionary...i wana learn it up..

xD

Parents now at GENTING for a leadership camp till saturday..

Patchy and Princey is not home alone tho...

der is da chinese service's pastor taking care of them...

hehehe...

MIZ THEM SO SO MUCH!!!!

i din take ny of Princey's pic cuz its hard to make him sit still for even a second!!..hyper-active dog... xD

im missing my dad's cooking too!!!!he makes da best *ying yong*..hahaha..n aso pan mee...and aso western food!!but too bad..he is so buzy nowadays dat he hardly cooks...da food below i had to personally ask him to cook it for me cuz in penang u cudnt find dat food...

a random pic of me at Penang's Museum!..1st time goin der..and da admission fee is oni 1buck...not bad!!lotsa BaBa Nyonya stuff...and goin der makes me proud of having BaBa Nyonya blood in me...hahaha...cuz der wer so many rules and stuff...imagine their wedding last for a MONTH!!!gosh...(>.<)

**BLAH!!!boring post...i post to get da satisfaction of blogging...hehehe...i wont b able to blog for da next 3 days...so hav a great weekend my frenz!!!!

Tears of Laughter...

Lee Hom's COMING TO M'SIA!!!!! May 2nd

OMG!!!i so wana see him in person...

and dat means how i wish i cud get da backstage pass to see him..

(@.@)

but i knw...dat will neva come thru...

cuz to get da backstage pass u ned to knw da inside ppl..

haihz..

dreams....... SHATTERED

='(

oh well...i do tink not oni me who wans to see him in person...i bet other gals r dying to see him in person...so i shall silently support him...and not go super crazy for not goin 4 his concert...btw da tickets are expensive..cudnt afford to go..probably aft im out in da working life..i'll travel overseas juz to catch him Live (^^)


im so into korean's shows rite now...not da ones on astro...but da ones on Utube!hahaha...it doesnt show on astro tho...but if dey do..im sure da ratings will go superbly high..cuz its real funny!!!..i am a person who hardly laughs at english shows...such as 'who's line izit anyway' or any comedy shows...bcuz i do not undstnd their jokes...my bf says its too deep for me to undstd...but well..korean's show are diff..tho i undstd thru da english subtitles...i laugh like a wacko!i even laugh till i cried!..seriously funny..a good show to release stress..da show last for half an hour and trust me u'll be laughin for da whole half and hour!!... xD

tomolo is back to class again..but lookin forward to spent da time with my coll mates!!cool bunch of ppl..thk god i met them...

(^^)

Dumb or Blinded by Love?

Rumours going around saying Rihanna had MARRIED Chris Brown...

say she's stupid...say she's blind...

we all cudnt judge her...cuz its her LIFE!

so ppl...its her choice..therefore its HERS to decide not URS!!!

Sunday oh Sunday...

being in penang a Sunday its like a normal weekend..

cuz i hardly go church on Sundays in penang..

i dun feel like i belong to any church..

dats y i feel uncomfortable goin church...

whole day spent in Gurney with sis n her bf..

i feel so unholy here..

cuz back in SP..

i attend two services in a day on Sunday..

heheheh...xD

i seriously wana learn korean language..

i wana undstand wat dey are talkin witout any subs..

da dictionary sold in bookstores are so freakin expensive!!

haihz...will save up to buy them

3rd sem's timetable is so relaxing..

3 days of classes per week...

however i gota study for my flunked subs..

frenz having nice life at home..

and i gota keep on worrying of da flunked subs..

feel guilty for not studyin seriously yet...

i cudnt make up my mind on wer to proceed aft diploma..

hav to be frustrated by da fees and wer to study..

haihz..hav to get loan tis time cuz bro tinkin of taking masters

so cudnt pay for my fees... =(

ned to decide by next next week..

owh!!!its so frustrating!!!

Mah other Half...

owh yeah i hav a boyfriend in reality...

but wat u all dun knw is...i have another boyfriend in my dreams!!!

lalalalal~!

DREAMS = Not Real = It May Neva Come True....

but well...dreams remain dreams and reality shall remain reality...

Well i guess most of u guys who follows my blog will knw dat i totaly LOVES Alexender Wang Lee Hom!!...not cuz he is totaly CUTE *grin*..his songs...his voice..will juz put a smile on my face each time i hear his songs...he is totaly Talented...and super Smart..if he wasnt a singer..he'll b a Doctor by now..

da pics below are his albums...from da oldest to da latest...i dont own all those albums..i only hav from da 1st Revolution album till his Chinked-out album...but its all in cassettes..hehehe..BUT i got his AUTOGRAPH on My One and Only album..i din meet him personally tho..cuz i was in KL dat time...my sis's fren got it for me...heheh...i was so so HAPPY!!!however...da cassete player made dat album's cassette spoilt...uuurrrgggghh!!oh nvm...he sign on da cover of da lyrics!HAHAHA....

every single album of his...i hav one personal FAV...and i wud sing it over and over again...till my mum wud say "there she goes again..haihz"...hehehehe....

This LENT season...i shall pray more dat i'll have the chance to meet u someday... xD

reali hope he comes out with an english album...heard dat he is a christian tho...(^^)

Da BEST singer..and da eva 1st singer that made me like mandrin songs.....owh and aso..i cud rmb all his songs by heart...

I WANA GRAD!!!

NO no NOOOOOOO tis cant be true!! NO WAYYY!!!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!

(@.@)

i find myself in my coll bus again aft 3 weeks of bein a PIG at home...

haihz...

wat a life!!

3 weeks of holiday its like 3 days of holiday oni...

fun time pass real fast!

results were release yday..

and guess wat??

i got a GREAT GIFT!da ever 1st gift i got from coll...

dat is...

i FLUNK 2 subs~

GOSH!

i was seriously sad..

neva did i flunk b4..and this is mah 1st time

Y??!!Y muz it happen wen im gona graduate?

i tot i cud graduate proudly wit no resit papers...

but now...haihz

hav to fill my brain with those stupid subs again..

i SUCK at ACCOUNTS!

damn...im gona b da lousiest accountant eva!

but thk god..tis sem's subs are fully coursework..

so no ned stress bout finals for this two sub

and concentrate on my stupiak resit papers..

(#.#)

i still cudnt make up my mind on wer to continue my studies..

shall i leave for kampar or juz stay here?

ugh..

very hard to make up my mind..

too much stuff to consider..

ACCA? or CPA?

DENG!!!

complicated life..