1 more day

24 hours to go..

1 paper to encounter with

3.15 hours..

to fully squeeze your brain cells dry..

& juz hope that end results gives a satisfying mark.

(>.<)
its killing , its freaking scary
the thought of *I HAVE TO PASS!*
cz fees are all in Pounds.

treat me well Business Analysis paper
it seems like you're a tough cookie to score
let me pass on the dot please.

ACCA easy? Yes it is...
if you are fully prepared.
me? falling out of no where
=)

어떻게하고

어떻게하고
with myself?

어떻게하고
with sluts?

어떻게하고
to maintain this?

어떻게하고
if in his eyes im still a child?

What?Why?How?
i come running here wen im down
that explains all the emo post.

im 피곤 , im sick being jealous all the time
im sick thinking when is all this gona fall apart
Eventually, 6 months ago i foresee we wudnt last

To this point ,
Jealousy is my main enemy,
not knowing wats reali goin on kills me.

Should i get a life?
should i dun care?
Should i shake it off my burden?

No one knows,
no one understands,
dun need to see that far
even 그 사람 cudnt get it.

im all so insane for being jealous
im all so crazy for jumping into conclusion.
izit my wrong?

내가 어떻게 할 수??
=/

oh its September~

i see myself visiting this page of mine
wen i'm down
its been months since i last poured out here
plain lazy i guess

here we go...
was asked to gather pics of my dad from previous years
as the church wana compile it
for his farewell dinner power point
as i click thru those albums
i stumble on pics of Grandpa
& pics of me & cousy at the hosp waiting
in the middle of the nite
something strike me hard
felt so hard to breathe
not oni those pics made me real sad
others like mum's pic last whole year

a HORRIBLE year as i wud summarized it
i juz turn 21 & expect it wud be a year of fun
turned out to be an opposite 1
i still cudnt get it off my mind

i still miss him dearly
by juz thinkin of him cud get tears rolling down my cheeks
prolly i cud be an actress aft all this shit
=)

another depressing story
parents moving out from sp
& alot of ppl been telling me hw happy dey wud see me often
in da new church
gah!im findin a way to Run Away!!!
sometimes i do hate the fact of who i am
its like a Force to stay at the church wer my parents go
its so awfully unfair
cz ders no one my age!!!!
i'll be so blardy bored & i wud get duties every single damn week!
yes i hate to commit in things like this
cz since young
i dun hav a CHOICE

sorry for all the stupid rant~
my bad..
signing off

5 days later...

5 days ago i was complaining
for im too free
5 days later im here to complaint yet again
for i dont wana go WORK!!
hehehe..
gals aite?

Went interview , got the Job
Audit Asst ..hmpzz~
5 days per week 9 till 5.30
starting July i would have nite class
starting at 6.30 till 9.30pm
GAH! am i nuts??!!
no im not.

Well looking at the time that i had to struggle during my coll days
get up by 6.30am when class is oni at 9am
reach home nearly 7.30 when class finished at 5pm
so , this new life is considered better ady.

Cheers to my new working life people~!
gota iron my stupid formal clothes each week now!*
=/

20th May

Sudden urge to visit my blog
at this wee hour
my bad for abandoning you luvly
been really really darn lazy aft all my exams are done


Tumblr , shows , dramas made me dumb
cz i aint learning anything from it
=p
well i admit my brain is kinda *SHUT DOWN* for the moment
c'mon give it a break~
its been working real hard for the past 4 years!!


i needa get a life real soon
some one kind enuf to wake me up?


Karma's been proven
Evil has collapse &
now haters are slowly giving concern to the devil
so when i say * HE got SERVED!*
everyone stares at me as if im the Heartless Biatch
How come?
suddenly all pity him bcz of his condition?
Hey people! HE DESERVES IT!
wokay?
dun act saint now when you all were the one who hate him too


Maybe im heartless to those dat i hate in the first place
so dont make me hate you
=)
Forgive & Forget is only what the mouth could say
not the heart & actions.
I gota be a nun to actually practice that phrase
or maybe only cruel towards him?
i hate him much
if he survive
i would wan him to kneel down infront of Grandpa's grave
& ask for forgiveness
only will i forgive him.

ciaoz~
nites!

Flyin Up In The Sky

What more can i ask for??!!!
i PASS all my 3 paperss!!!!!
hahahahahahahha...
dat totally made my day~

Thank YOU GOD!
if it wasnt for your help
i wudnt have nailed it
=)

call me an ADVANCE DIPLOMA GRADUATE!
*nyek nyek*

even got A- for my audit paper
unbelievable?
Believe it!
=p

Annyeong!

its been long ,
the feeling of blogging had left my soul
aft i started Tumblr which i oni reblog from others
=)

so well ,
here i am again,
updates on my wondeeeeful life
Currently off from books
waiting to be confirmed that i pass all my papers
& then i'll be Graduating!!!
yeah it sounds fun ,
but another prob arise
where shud i head to next??

as usual the world is a cruel place,
i need to advance further to have a stable life in da future
for my line ,
a Professional Cert is the best
therefore i need to have one!

Shud i head to KL?
shud i stay in Tarc?
shud i work full time & study part time?

Decisions to be made
GAH~!! i hate it much
& for now
my life is uncertain ,
financial prob hinders me.

as you all know bout my mum ,
her treatments she did b4 dint take her cancer away
so yea~ nw 2nd round of treatment
its gona cost ALOT!
even siblings are prepared to bear the cost with their EPF
i knw i feel bad bout it cuz i cudnt help out
but i do thank god that i still got them to shield me
but then my studies is at stake
if i dont get any scholarship
i cudnt continue no more & start working

However , in this situation
i Thank God for angels that he sent to us
of all the years i tot he wasnt there
he proved to me that he was actually taking care of us
so , with him looking down from above
i do think that he will have his way for me

=')

Get the party start'ing

Get the party start'ing by vidica featuring metal jewelry

beach outfit

beach outfit by vidica featuring metal sunglasses

Dinner wear

Dinner wear by vidica featuring studded handbags

Relaxing day

Relaxing day by vidica featuring tie dye tops

Party night

Party night by vidica featuring alexander mcqueen handbags

elegance

elegance by vidica featuring yellow jewelry

elegance

elegance by vidica featuring yellow jewelry

Lazy Sunday

Lazy Sunday by vidica featuring beading jewelry

now She fall...

Granny feel on her face
but it landed on the left side 1st
i was sitting on the table next to her when she fell
if time was like in the MATRIX movie
i would have save her from the fall
=/

why am i the 1st person to be there or to know
when Grandpa or Granny fall??
When Grandpa fell he was talking to me
if i had when down half min earlier
i would have save him from falling flat on the face
now Granny's turn
Heart Pain leh~!

Have i told you about a story of an EMO girl?

it took her TWO months to get off that track. Being emo everyday was her life , nothing makes her happy. Totally NOTHING.

Not even her other half’s jokes & care have any effect on it. Till it comes to a point where they both argue everyday because of the girl is always Emo.

At night she would cry herself to sleep. She wudn’t dare to go downstairs at night alone. & she tells no one of this.

Her Loving Grandpa’s death had caused her much sadness. Nothing beats anything if her grandpa would be alive & talking to her again.

Shivers goes down her spine whenever she pass the hospital. Thinking of the whole night she spent there waiting for her Grandpa. Even the sound of the ambulance gives her chills & bring back memories what happened.

I am That Girl. i’ve learned to accept the fact that he is Gone now. I love you Grandpa , have a great time up there is Heaven

=)

# Day 8 - if i could change something about myself , what would it be?

hhhhmm…nothing physical. Oh well , it maybe a lie coz since young i’ve been complaining bout my height & fatty thighs. But i’ve came to accept it the way i am now

=)

i would like to change my temper & my mood swings. However for girls mood swings are like something that is within us. We are born with it. Don’t you think so girls?

My temper could come anytime & i do show it on my face. I’m easily angry when i’m tired , sleepy , hungry & when some one nags too much.

Ok taecyeon gif

yes i juz learned how to make it
=)
am so proud of myself
cz im a noob in things like this!

but too bad
i dun knw y blogger not making it animated!!!
aarrgghh!!
dats y i prefer tumblr now

so see it HERE!
=DD

# Day 7 - Song lyrics , why i chose them.

Dream high a chance to fly high
Dream high a chance to fly high
아픔들은 이젠 모두다 bye bye
Bye bye to the hurts
하늘에 있는 저 별들처럼 높이 날아봐
Fly high like the stars in the sky
네 꿈들을 펼쳐 보는 거야 time for you to shine
Open your dreams, time for you to shine
이제부터 시작이야 gotta make em mine
Starting Now, gotta make em mine
네 손으로 이뤄가 미랠 두려워하지 마 인젠 힘껏 자신 있게 걸어가
Dont be afraid of the future in you hands, walk in confidence now
Destiny 숙명이지 멈출 수 없는 운명이 지금
You can’t stop destiny now
우리 눈앞에 펼쳐지지 이건 너를 위한 whole new fantasy
Whole new fantasy is open in front of your eyes
그러니 이제부터 여기 내 손을 잡아
So hold my hand now
우리의 목표는 지금부퍼 하나 꿈과 미래 포기하지 않아
Our stop is the same now, dont give up on your dreams
젊음 열정 여기 모두다 Dream High
When your young dream high everyone

Dream High Ost

Dream , everybody have one but whether it comes true or never. I want to have a dream which will come true , however till now my future is uncertain. Every since i was young , i’ve been dreaming to be a singer who owns the stage & the people watching her from down the stage. After i’ve grown up , i know that dream is not easy to attain , therefore i’m putting it aside. For now , my dream is to graduate with ACCA & get a high pay job to survive on earth. However , that is also uncertain. There is so many things happening currently , i dont know what to do next. So im taking it step by step , going slowly. Financially is stopping me , but i know that is not an excuse for me to stop. Im gona DREAM HIGH for a chance to FLY now~

Ok Taecyeon & Chansung

me LOVE Ok Taecyeon much!!!
(the one on your right with headphones)

therefore , my screen wallpaper....

.
.
.
.
.

(^^)

Challenges...

i've been writing according to this
tho im nt consistent in writing it everyday
=p

# Day 6 - My Best Friend

I got LOADS of them. Every place i go , i’ll have at least one. So now , who to write about? I shifted 3 times through my 22 years.

=)

my oldest best friend , i knew her since 8 years old & she was 9. Though she is 1 year older , we click instantly. I had to shift to another state & will only meet her once a year for years. Thank God for the gift of technology these days , i added her to my friendster & then the awesome Facebook. We’ve been close even we hardly meet each other that often through the years , so she’s my oldest best friend. I miss all our bathing time together & taking turns to sleep over at each others’ place. I am sure we will still be close in the future!

To my KL best friends , you know who you are. The “J’s” rule there!miss u ladies & guys much & i miss the time we hang out in the guest room & also the mamak stall. We shall remain close aite? though we are all in different parts of the world/state. May our bonds remain as strong as we were in those days.

To my SP 7 sisters , gah!do i need to name u all one by one? nah~ its our nickname after all =p. As 1 by 1 of us walking to the path of working life except for me , we shall still remain in contact okay? Life is tough , so hang on!

To my Penang Cha Bo’s , *heh* i love u guys. I appreciate u all much! words cudnt express how thankful am i to have known you people. Pretty ladies , lets rock the accountant world! =p

Lastly , to my best guy friend , my other half , the guy who i call mine , Thank you for always being there for me , lend me your ear & making me smile through your lame jokes =D

YOU PEOPLE , YOUR MY WORLD! NA SARANG HAE YO! ♥

# Day 5 - The most amazing thing that happened to me

Without a doubt , to be living on this earth ,
to have a family ,
to have people who love me ,
to stay at a country with no natural disaster
and i’m grateful.
Tho it is natural for humans to whine
& complaint about their hectic/uneventful life
, im richer than the people who are starving in some countries ,
im richer than the orphans cuz i have a family
& im blessed to have an education
compared to those who want but cudn’t have.


*Smlie & the world smiles with you*

# Day 4 - If i could live other places in the world , where would it be.

In a place where racism does not exist , equal rights of humans exist , no such a thing called religious country , voices of the citizens could be heard & not put in jail for it , a place where everyone calls home & is proud of it , no corrupted government , no special treatment such as status of a person , a place where everyone is happy to be living in.

Corruptions i bet it happens everywhere in any country or government. Besides being in a so-called muslim country makes things worst as other races have no say nor rights in anything. They do what they want , all we could do is sit & watch and not say a thing. So i rather be out of this place. Tho they are trying their best to promote unity , however there will be times idiots will step out to comment on things to hurt others , so back to square one . Nothing changes.

As the place i really want to be is UK or Aussie . Why? i don’t know , maybe a more laid back life there.

Dream High soundtrack - Dream

this is the theme song for Dream High
=)
sang by Suzy ( Miss A ) , Woo young (2pm) ,
Taecyeon (2pm) and Kim Soo hyun ( he is juz an actor with great voice!!)
my current fav
the beat makes my body move
=p

It is a MUST WATCH drama peeps!!
im in love with it now
currently juz finished ep 11
prolly will watch it over again
*heh*

one thing i like about the entertainers of Korea
they are all rounded
they could be singers , actor/actress ,
MC show reality shows
reali DAEBAK!!

Someday - IU

Love much this song from Dream High
a korean drama
=)
if u are a loyal follower
u definitely know my love for dramas
enjoy!
Someday by IU
a very pretty girl.

To you , with love

im so down at this hour cuz thinking of my grandpa . I cudnt talk to him nor see him nymore in this life on earth. I honestly miss him much. If i have the power to bring him back to life i will even if i have to sacrifice my years of living on earth.

Went downstairs to get drink , & i just gota say *goodnite ah kong. Seeing him not there in his room breaks my heart. I would alws check on him weneva i go downstairs to get water in da middle of the nite.

2 more days , it will be 2 months. 2 months he left us on earth & went up. A church member passed away last sunday , & i juz gota look up the sky and say * Ah Kong , there will be a person u knw joining u up there.

i still remember your laugh , your two front teeth , your nagging , everything bout u. At times , i reali heard you calling me.

to you with love , you will be remembered .

ohsolong~

People dying out of stressful life
i'm dying out of boredom!!

mayb tomolo i'll get outta hse
& spent some time alone
movie? karaoke?
can i go karaoke alone?
i seriously wana do dat

siting infront of the com whole day
i will wear specs soon
& my bum bum wil be bigger

i need facial
i need ice cream
i need pizza
i need to smile again happily!!!

today was awkward for me
im not gona elaborate wat happen
but it wasnt a good thing

Oh Valentine's Day
it was dull & boring tho
i dont feel nything
same as for my birthday this year & last year
its juz plain un-interesting!
wat to do...
im cursed.

more to Tumblr freak now.
sorry!

Havoc Valentine's Day comments..

Let me do the translation :

Facts on why Muslims should not celebrate Valentine’s Day & its illegal for them to do so ….

1st fact : the history of this occasion ..started off with worshiping the God of Love in Rome before the coming of Christianity . So Muslims are not suppose to worship the God of Christianity. * ( FYI miss lady who is brainless dumb.. CHRISTIANS DO NOT WORSHIP OTHER GODS other than the FATHER ABOVE! rmb dat will you? )

Remembering the death of St Valentine … St Valentine was the one who spread Christianity in Rome , therefore the people in Rome started Valentine’s Day to remember him . * ( && for this you say it as it is a Christian’s occasion woman??!! Oh Puhleezz…you are so shallow or shall call u noob!! )

As an icon for the soldiers Rome to get married on this very day …

2nd fact : Illegal

3rd fact : as on Valentine’s Day couples tend to have sex , club & do other dirty things . She said its CHRISTIAN’S TRADITION on Valentine’s Day & they will do everything to lose their virginity on that day . * ( WTF??!!! Watch your words woman! you have no rights to ditch ppl’s religion like dat & accused it!) (now u see the things happening in my country?)

4th fact : use your power , tongue & heart to stop all these nonsense * ( =.=”) (damn sad case ppl who have lil knowlegde … i would say use your tongue to stop yourself from talking NONSENSE woman! )

its sick , so sick ~ Here , they could talk nonsense but we could not talk nonsense cz we will be jailed for it . They could have four wives , but we could not even kiss in public places .

& oh yeah ,

woottt..

an-yong hea saeyo
=)
im trying to learn korean language as u can see


ah gosh ..
i've lost the urge to write ady
how?
lazi-ness creeping in me


things happened
& im not allowed to spit it out here
but im in da midst of wondering
who is da bitching fool behind everything
aft i find out
i would wana cut out that person's tongue so dey wudnt be able to talk


u knw ,
sometimes i feel like giving a sermon in church
hhmmm...mayb nt a sermon dat relates to the bible
but relates to my family's life
probably it wudnt be a sermon
it wud be a harsh speech from me directly to the members
u knw why??
cz der is too much things going around
i cudnt stand it anymore
its way beyond my limits
9years !! DATS IT PEOPLE!
but i knw..
i cudnt say much
cz im nt the pastor
but i have the rights to say it out cz im the daughter!


heh* say wat u wan people
karma is gona get u back ~ get u back
=)
im kinda hot tempered gal
u give me a slap i'll give a hard kick

29th Jan 2011

im still living in da year of 2010
idunknwy
cz weneva i write dates i still end it with 10.
(>.<)

wokies in FB i havent create an album for this year yet
heh*
last year was full with events
this year?
will it be quieter?


been buzy with tumblr
as i find it fun to speak out thru pics & quotes
of course i cud do it here too
but here contains mostly words for me

CNY is COMING people!!!
have u get ready with the preparations?
bot new clothes?
uh hmm me..
will recycle my clothes from Christmas shopping
=D
hehe..
but honestly , i din wear everything i bot yet!
so yea~ CNY i cud wear it

well , nothing much happen tho
all i've been up to is watch *We Got Married*
a korean show which gals will loveee it much!
heh* .. guys will say dat its juz acting
& i wil say *owh u guys are juz jealous~
=p

plans for da next few days?
Bake Bake Bake!
nyehehehe~
im free .. so yea~
contribute by making cookies n cakes for CNY

no more emo?
hmm.. at times wen i rmb of him
but im getting beta ..
however , i keep reminding myself
not to forget his voice
not to forget his face
not to forget the way he talks
not to forget wat he likes n dislikes
ah.. all i can say is dat
no1 cud replace ah kong
he is one of a kind

&& Ah MA!
omigosh!
u shud see her
cz she got PURPLE hair yo!
hahahahahah~

Tumblr ♥

i got another account in Tumblr peeps!!
hehe..
for the fun of it
it seems fun posting mostly quotes & pics der

so there u go ,
Sweet & Bitterness in Life

♥

dont worry ,
i will still blog here too
=)
Cheers!

Sleepy head..

got back from KL
all i did was sleep
=)
was super tiring those 3 days
cudnt sleep well those 2 nites as my parents snores real loud


i still dont knw wat shud i do
no classes juz resits
shud i juz sit home n study?
heh* i bet i wud juz play around tho
=p


life seems so meaningless wen u got nothing to look forward for
ACCA wud oni starts july
so wat im gona do in mean time?
waste life?
haihz..i dun like this feeling

wen im busy
da part time jobs website full with jobs
but wen im free
ders none
how weird rite?

What if...

Me : this Adv Dip so hard ler... i dun knw ACCA i can or nt

Mum : can wan... start studying now la

Me : (@.@) Ma...i juz finis my finals

Mum : beta still ... u knw wat ur studying

Me : What if i say i give up aft few trys on ACCA?

Mum : u stupid la...then wat u've put in before dat all wasted!

hmm..true aso ~
wat to do?
im scared to face failures.

the one n only

Friendster - SieWYiNg's Photos - ~me..n my grandparents!!..~: "*my world...my life*"

its 2am

& im siting here tinkin of wat to write
ders so much things in my mind
but i juz cudnt gather it in words
im juz been so emo lately

its nt dat im nt letting myself to be happy
its juz dat ders much burden im taking in me
no1 knows
no1 undstands y im behaving like this
however , Patchy & Princey are my sunshine!
i juz ned to play with them , hug them
dey'll sit there quietly while i talk it out

i felt i was cursed with probs & sadness
ever since my 21st bday
last year was my worst year of all
in & out of the hospitals

Ppl usually say dat *wow , life starts at 21!!*
well yeah , mine started on a hard ground
yeap~ u may say im nt grateful enuf for the happy things dat happened
but wen one sadness is enuf to clear out the happiness in you
rite?

mum juz had to find out dat she hav cancer
whole family was so sad cuz of it but all we cud do is pray
it wasnt easy for us & most of all my dad
i was telling God , did u mean to make me mature thru all this?

ever since i was young
i keep praying everynite
asking God pls nt to take grandpa & granny up with him so fast
cz i wan them to attend my wedding & see me wit kids
i was so close to them , dat i throw tantrums aft knwing i had to shift to KL
i cried da whole way thru to KL
coming back penang for skol holidays was da ever best thing i cud ask for

at times thoughts like this appear in my brain
i cudnt help it but to let it out thru tears
i dun wana keep it as it will make things worst
being in penang makes things worst
cz i still hope to feel grandpa's presence

mummy still do cry at times
& me? almost everynite..
CNY 1st day we're going to his grave to see him
but i wana go der once i go back penang

sry for the emo post ,
im still very sad over this
finals was 2 weeks aft his death
& i tell u , i had to force myself to study
today marks the 1 month of his death

if there is a telephone created especially for ppl like me
to talk to the ppl above
i wud be the 1st one to get it n call grandpa
=)

WiMax u SUCK!

Slept at 3 sumthing last nite
tonite? i dun knw
all i knw im superb pisssed with WiMax!

(@.@)

爱一直存在

梁文音 - 爱一直存在
Rachel Liang - Love always there

作词 : 马嵩惟 陈孟奇 作曲: 陈孟奇

那天我扬起帆 想看看未知的海
That day I raised my sail, wanting to look at the unknown sea
心里很多话想说说不出来
I have many words in my heart that I want to say, yet I can’t
虽然我脸上看不出来
Even though you can’t see it from my face
天空一样蔚蓝 却换了多少云彩
The sky is the same blue, although many clouds have passed
那时的你让我幸福百分百 是否为我等待
You at that time made me fully blissful; were you waiting for me?

Chorus:

我知道 我的爱 一直都会存在
I know my love will always be there
没有你泪停不下来
Without you, I can’t stop my tears
你知道我依赖多不想say goodbye
You know how much I depend on you, how much I don’t wish to say goodbye
我痛说不出来
My pain cannot be expressed
我知道 我的爱 一直都会存在
I know my love will always be there
没有你快乐都停摆
Without you, even happiness stops
某一天我期待和你笑的灿烂
Someday, I hope to smile with you brightly
回头看爱 都在
Looking back at love always there


站在你的门外 我决心不再徘徊
Standing at your door, I decided not to wander
心里很多话想说说不出来
I have many words in my heart that I want to say, yet I can’t
但我想你一定都明白
But I think you will still understand
时间过的好快 想念却不曾更改
Time passes so quickly; yet I have never changed in missing you
现在的你是否幸福百分百 我应该怎麽猜
Is the present you fully blissful? How should I guess?

爱 一直存在
Love always there

i heart this song much aft the 1st time listening to it!
from the drama * Roseate Love * taiwan

Backieee!

sorry for abandoning u , luvly blog
Finals are killer
& its FINISH! for now~
sat for 3 papers
hope all 3 passss!

now im physically tired
but mentally IM NOT!
probably im juz too happy to be free from books for the moment
ever since my grandpa pass away
i've been very very busy & uptight
hardly get a goodnite rest
cz i'll alws end up crying myself to sleep
Yes , it still affect me tho
cz i neva had a person whom im very close to pass away
paternal grandma & grandpa pass away before i rcd my teenage years
& i wasnt reali close to them
therefore , it dint affect me much

Drama Freak starting soooooonn!!
KL next week ,
probably Hatyai this month end!
wooot wooot~
=)

Tears

each & every nite

i miss u much Ah Kong...

WORD!

who doesn't?

its sucking up all my energy!!!!

Drown

with facts..
brain cells dead day by day

Booo ya 2011

okay today is the 2nd day of Jan 2011

was too buzy to blog

& aft dat was lazy to blog

=D

so nw 6 more days to Finals

& 8 more days to my supposed to be happy day

but a paper falls on dat lovely day

=(

hw sad rite?

no celebration i bet

till aft finals

for nw STUDY STUDY STUDY Jess

its ur freaking last sem!!!

but aft dat u stil got others to resit

=p

so now don resit ny of these papers puhlezz

will ya?

Ah kong ,

Happy New Year!!

u got a new life & a new body up der rite?

=)

we miss u much.