Its Christmas time ..

Tis the season to be Jolly'

so be merry & happy

have a Merry Happy Christmas people!

♥

im at Ipoh rite now

juz got here in the morning

later tonite we'll hav a family buffet dinner in a hotel

=D

will be here til monday

heh*

yes ponteng class on monday again

=p

Cheers Ah Kong ,

i bet the Christmas season up der wud be nicer than here rite?

send us presents from up above puhlezz..

i wan all passes for my finals soon

i'll be a good good gurl ,

i promise!

You muz be proud...

staring blankly to the sky
seeing birds flying by
time seems to past around swiftly
as im standing still

Ah Kong u muz be proud of us
of our family
as we gathered together to talk & pray
ties wudnt break tho ur not here physically with us

picking up ur bones today
juz made me realize that humans are actually brittle
a small container cud actually fill up a person's whole body
grandma cried much
but non of us cried during the burial process
as we were trying to be strong for granny

*Goodbye Ah Kong , will miss you*
those wer the last words i said
i hope to see u soon one day
singing amazing grace to welcome us in joining you der

me sitting here at the com table
i cud hear sum1's crying in the room
but im not sure who
every1 is in a very emotional mood now
tho we alws put up a happy face during the day

Mum told me a heart wrenching news
my aunty told her dat my grandpa was asking for me
wen he was in da ambulance on his last trip back to home
i shud have sneak my way in to see him earlier that morn
why didnt i??!!!
(T.T)

as he lay der in his bed
i was holding his hand & rubbing it against mine
he was cold
so so cold

Ah Kong ,
now i got no1 to fold my umbrella for me aft its dry
now i got no1 to wait for me if i come home late
now i got no1 to remind me of things wen i misplaced it
i got no1 to replace ur place in my heart

Thank you ,
for giving me protection wen im noty
for giving me extra money to spend wen u knw im broke
for alws asking hw am i wen im nt around u
for implementing a habit in me to sleep hugging my bolster
for alws being my santa claus
for showering ur care & concern
Thank You much Ah Kong!
i knw u wer very strict with ur kids
but to ur grandkids ur not

it feels so so weird nt having u around
seeing u in the coffin for those 3 days ,
i reali cudnt accept it yet.

heart is stil very heavy
heavy with sorrows
tinking of u cudnt at least spend ur last christmas with us
; it breaks.

this year for the first time
im nt spending Christmas wit my home church
family made the decision to all go down to Ipoh
we wana stay as a family thru this time of sadness

to the ,
Chew's , Kok's , Yaw's & Leow's
may we stand strong as a family.
♥

The Chains are gone

He's been set free....

its the 2nd day dat he's gone
gone from this place called Earth
as he wen back to his Almighty Father up in Heaven
He wen peacefully without pain & regret

been busy helping in the preparation for the funeral
cud hardly sleep , cud hardly think on the 1st day
it was very sad
super sad to see him gasp for his last breath right before my eyes

ambulance rush him back home yday
his heart stopped twice on that very morning
docs cudnt do nything anymore

he reached home , every1 rush down
they carried him to his bed
seeing him so weak lying there
i cudnt stop myself from crying

he had a wish dat is to gather every1 by his bed side
he got his wish on dat very day he past away

before he gasp his last breath
he said he wana go sunshine square to shop
and at the same time he wana hold our hands tightly
i held him tight
he was so cold , so cold till i reali cudnt accept it dat he is so weak

he was fine da day b4
but why today so weak???!!
i ask God
WHY??

every1 was crying while talking & singing by his bed side
my hands neva left his heart
checking his heart beat
& i was the first to knw dat he had gone
(T.T)

wen his heart beat stop
i told them , He's gone
no1 wana believe it
so i put my ears to listen to his heart
tears ran down my cheecks
& i look up with teary eyes
*He is reali gone*

History maker

i need Miracles

God i need miracles to happen again
i knw im asking too much in a year
but i knw u knw why
u could see clearly from above rite?

spent whole nite in da hospital waiting
till 8am wen home & rest
me sis n aunt was der with him da whole nite
in & out he wen from the emergency room

it came to a point wen we gota take up tough decision
but it wasnt as tough decision as we had to make now
Now , we are risking his life for the surgery
Docs says oni 20% of survival rate
& aft surgery there will be much complications

we ask him whether he wans to go thru it
without telling him hw much is he risking it
he said he wana risk it
granny says risk it too

it was real tough
tears running down da cheeks without realising
i cud see dat granny tryin to act tough & nt cry
in her heart
she muz be very very pain

it all started last nite
wen he was talkin to me
i was upstairs he was downstairs
all of a sudden , a hard hit on the ground
i rush down
juz to see him lying face flat on the ground
heart was so freaking pain
tears are hold back cz it wont make things beta
blood was gushing out from his nose like water
a tooth came off & cut his nose
cheeks & forehead hav cuts
ambulance came & rush him to the hosp

i drove alone to the hosp
as sis wen with him in da ambulance
park the car & saw a dead body in da police truck
shivers wen down my spine

one thing lead to another
they found a lump at his main artery
near the abdomen
so now , its dat thing we are worried of

to take risk or nt?
mum , aunt , uncle nw are juz beside him
deciding on wats best
all i cud do is sit here & pray for miracles

granny said
i wan wats best for him
i wan him to live longer
i dont mind taking care of him
but im nt stopping him from going back to his father
he lived well all these years
his time is almost up to go back

aft hearing this
i juz cudnt contain it anymore

Me to We

♥

weekend escape

Goin KL for the weekend
*LOVESSS*
=D
juz to shop
believe or nt?

P2 test over
& i knw im a loser
(>.<)
Next up
P1 test on wed
aiyoyoyo....
test everyday
test all the way

All she knows

She knows better but
She can't help it
Wanna tell her
But would that be selfish
How do you heal
A heart that can't feel, it's broken
His love is all she knows, all she knows, all she knows
His love is all she knows, all she knows, all she knows

All she knows by Bruno Mars

i felt like i was a third party
singing to myself
without me knowing , tears ran down my cheeks
cz its true
dat's all i oni knw

emptiness filled the heart
as i wake up from my dreamland
i struggled to prevent myself from waking up to the cruel reality
but i fail

crying soothe the soul much
cz if i force myself to stop from pouring out
it hurts even more in the inside

he will be happy
i will be happy
it juz need some time

i wana dip in a pool of icy water
cz for now its oni the heart dat is numb
for it to feel beta
i rather to be numb from head to toe

numb heart

im superbly tired
felt like i lost my voice
throat hurts so so much
sales is not my thing
i hate it much
i've alws say dat i wud neva work as sales promoter
but i still do
wat to do?
the oni part time job for students

last day
=)

u wer alws on my mind
tho i was busy & uptight wit sales
nt a day passed by without u crossing thru my brain
Heart is totally numb
Eyes are alws teary
Mouth is forced to smile
Brain alws telling the heart *its alrite*

NITE i fear the most
darkness weaken the soul
eyes are forced to shut
but tears eventually find its way to fall out

Grenade

I’d catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya
You know I'd do anything for ya

i wrote for u this b4
i would & i will
dats hw much i've fallen so deep with u

almost teared up few times
as i think bout him
was so stress , was so tired
all i ever wantd to hear was oni his voice
to soothe my soul
he was the ever 1st person i call wen im happy
he was the ever 1st person i talk to wen im sad
he was the ever 1st person who followed me thru thick & thin

at one point
i heard sum1 said the word *stylo*
i stopped for a moment
hoping dat it was him
i looked around but in heart i knw its impossible
he wud alws say the word *stylo milo*
& i wud alws giggle cz of the word

i wantd to call
i wantd to msg
but i din cz i knw he hates me much
he wudnt wana hear me cry over the phone

i wen to my inbox
cz i wantd to find the msg dat my agent send to me
i stumble , i shivered
as i had to go thru msges from him cz i din delete it since last week
i almost burst into tears infront of every1
but i hold back & wen toilet to cool down


wen thru my album last nite
bumped into pictures of us
started cryin like no ones business
we wer happy
we wer actually concern with our future together
& most of all
we actually did think & talk bout our future together
nw its gone
all gone

i dun knw whether he was ever happy with me
cz he neva says hw lucky
or hw happy he is being in this relationship
we took each other for granted
therefore , this is the result

i so wana ask
*how are u today?*
*do u hav flu today?*
*izit getting beta or worst?*
*have u taken ur med?*
*had u have chocos today?*
*how many games of hon had u played?*
*are u sleepy?*
*are u tired?*
& lastly
* did u MISS ME today?*

i so wana talk to u
but i juz cudnt
its killing me much
& u knw it well.

stil MARU....

History repeating itself
i gota pull myself outta it again
been der done it~
i will pull thru
i will pull thru

its easy to get into a relationship
but its hard to get urself out of it
i dun knw
dats juz reality

wen i stop & stare
even for a second
i cud feel dat my eyes are getting watery
i gota repeat
its alrite
its alrite

he juz cudnt undstand
he juz wudnt wana undstand
no point to keep pushing on
as if nothing ever happen

5 years wen like dat
down da drain
i tot dat 5 years of relationship
we wud actually be stable & be undstanding
but no..
time prove us wrong!

5 years wasted like dat
he wud blame dat its my fault
& i wudnt say its fully my fault

i alws wantd to prove ppl wrong
dat actually highskol sweethearts wud surpass any hard blow
& wud be strong
as we both had gave in our 5 years into this relationship
5 years is nt a short time
for us to last that long & be with each other tat long
it actually proves dat we had found the rite match

like ppl say
wen one joins college he/she wud change
yes we did ,
but we stil stayed true to each other
but well der wer lies he kept & dint tell me
& der wer white lies dat i kept cz i knw he'll dislike it if i tell

all these years ,
a fren is alws a fren to me
no matter its a she/he
i knw he doesnt believe in having guys as my bestfren
as for him ,
gals & guys cud neva be best of frenz
but i tell u ,
dey are oni frenz which i hav no feelings for

i cud swear i din cheat
but i cudnt swear dat i told a few white lies
most of it wer acceptable white lies
but as i said
a NO is a NO for him

as i had him
he has alws been der for me
as my best buddy & a great advisor
but aso a nagger
i oni had him
n swayed away from others
i depend so much on him cz i look up to him much

nw im alone
i wont complain
i try nt to fall
& i dun wana depend on others too
u may see as if im tryin to act tough
but im nt
but i shall learn the hard way

a broken heart kills the soul
but hey ,
dats wat u'll get wen u open ur heart for love to come it
its nt evil ,
its juz dat u've lost sum1 dear to u
whom had stick by u thru thick n thin 24hrs daily by ur side
the feeling of losing a piece of u is worst than a broken heart

i promise myself nt to cry today ,
but i stil did
writing this juz brings back happy memories of us
njying each other's company never bore us

yeap im nt willing to let go
but its nt my will power to get us back together
cz u ned both hands to clap
i reali thought we cud actually walk down the road of life together.

Damiru wei mu

Poured out

one of the few times dat i wud pour out my probs here
im secretive
but nt this post..

i dun knw wat i did wrong to be left standing alone
it was a briefing at 9pm
nt reali late at nite
he asked me nt to go
but still i wen cz i din wana giv bad impression to the boss
i admit dat i TRIED to LIE
but i dint
i felt so guilty for doing so dats y i spilled it out aft dat
however the outcome was
me getting dumped!

i tried to explain
i tried to talk n make him understand
but i jz dun knw y he dont wana listen
he said i LIED too many times
but i tell u
i lie for reasons
u ask me nt to go but if i dun go i may loose the job
& he said lose mah lose lo
HOW can u talk such thing?!
i work cz i wana earn my own damn money
& u knw it i so wana get a new handphone
but y u juz wudnt undstand??
if i dun work , will u pay me 80bucks per day with high commission?
ur alws against me working part time
WHY??!!
u feel insecure??
wat about my future permanent jobs??!!
am i to sit at home everyday n look at the wall?
wudnt u be happy dat im all independent myself
& not sitting at home wasting my parent's money?
u get all u ever wanted
i dont get nythin dat i ever wantd
i got earn my way up to get it
u neva undrstnd hw hard izit to work as a promoter
u juz dont..
all u do is to complain dat i work & dont hav enuf time for u

i called u picked up
but u neva let me talk
all u wana hear is ur own voice & ur own decision
me left to wonder whether wat i did was correct or wrong
u knw..
i cud actually lie my way thru it
but i didnt
i was in such hard position on whether to tell u or nt

ask urself y i lie..
its bcz u din wana let me go for briefing
ITS JUZ BRIEFING!
& u knw wat?
dey tested us on hw much we knew bout da hp
& dats all
ur my bf but ur nt my boss
so next time in future , u expect me to listen to u or my head boss?
are u paying me?
ur juz my other half who shud undstnds the scenario b4 puttin ur own decision on me
i can be urs , but im not urs to be control
im a human with feelings
nt a robot who listens to oni the owner.

i knw i lied
i admit i did TRIED to lie
cz i din wan us to be torn juz cz i had to go for a briefing which oni took an hour or so at paparich
i din sin cz i wen
i sin cz i tried to lie to prevent us from arguin
but u din hav the authority to stop me from goin
im working for them
& its a worker's responsibility to do wat they are asked to

briefing on the hp
& we wer test on hw well we knw the hp cz we r the frontline person
the boss wasnt der
oni the SIS distributor personel wer der to brief us thru

im scared of u
im controlled by u
i reali dint mind
cz i juz wantd us to be happy dats all
but it was so tight till i din knw wat to do
nw u juz let me go for reasons dat u assume it to be true
i dun knw y u juz cudnt listen to wat i wana say
ur YES means YES
ur NO means NO
like a DICTATOR of my life
so now , tell me y i wana lie?
i did it for the best of us
i din cheat
i din go alone
if u let urself down , listen to me
undstand my situation
things wudnt go this way

everything is now crashed
being alone with myself at least i cud contain my tears
but wen i talk to sum1 else
der goes the showers from my eyes

i tried calling many times
but it alws fail me
as he shut his hp off
so shall i
to prevent myself from doin ny stupid things
now im NUMB to the core.

for nw im gona live a day at a time.
wish me luck!

Blardy..

at the first sight
i neva liked u
at the first appearance
i disliked u
the looks of ur innocent face
is cunning to my visible eyes

u took HIM
who i tot i cud rely on
u took HIM
who i tot is my oni close family member

he gave u all of HIM
all of HIS
& me ?
he became a stranger to me

i knw him no more
i talk to him no more
im not close to him no more
thk u for taking him
thk u for snatching

probably i cudnt blame all this on u
probably is HIM who is to blame for all this shit!
He who does nt knw hw to differentiate things
& he who cares more for the innocence

so wateva~
i LOST you
Goodbye YOU~
ur now officially a stranger to me.

Get lost & be merry
with ur innocent looking faced girl

say im jealous
say im selfish
ur not in my shoes
so u beta juz shut da hell up
& stop being judgemental.

i shud hav realised it sooner once you've shifted
i knw I AM NOTHING to u.
FAREWELL~
u hurt my feelings much!

Family day

Bro's back
parents came to Penang
cz its my mum's bday tomorow
so bro took her for a treat
& we as well join in
hahahaha...

wen queens , 1st avenue & prangin
ah 3 places in a day
we da shopping kaki family!

me gona get a new hp soooonnn~
all i gota do now is keep pestering HIM to giv me
xD
thou shal wait for my good news..

My rock..

♥
My pillar~

Each other...

Time seems to pass-by faster wen im with You

i juz cud not get bored talking to You

i have more walking stamina than You

but u have a beta eating ability than Me

=p

im trying to annoy you wen u get too annoyin

jokes u tell i cud neva get it

& theories i tell u cud neva agree to it

we have diff taste in ice creams too.

its alrite if we have each other by the side

dats all we need

we may be diff , but hey ~

we CLICK!

=)

counting those years...

i reali hav no idea hw we managed

to walk down da road of life together for so long

but we did it boyfie!

had a reali great day today

filled with smiles & laughter

thk you for bringin rainbow to my life~

♥

xD

=)

truth =)

WORD!

PBIM-ers 2010 ♥

♥
i had a great fun working with u bunch!
thx for the laughter & memories
dat i wud take with me down the road of life
=)

next year?
i'll probably cudnt make it
=(

tho it was real tiring working long hours everyday
but u've manage to put a smile on my face
every single day!

ALL HAIL PBIM-ers 2010!
u've done a great job~

Mi xiu Mi xiu all~
♥
relationship bonded ;
ties tighten ;
this is wat we call
*Friendship*
=)

Lazy bummy

it feels like im on my sem break
cz its been a WEEK dat i step into college ground
xD

thinkin bout classes now
juz made my brain blank
*wat class tomorow?*
*wat shud i bring?*
HEH
the symptoms of getting old eh?

i feel so odd goin back for classes
mayb i was really happy doin part time job than studyin
but well ,
the cruel society looks at your cert & not your experience
so for the sake of it ,
every1 are pushed to study higher & higher
till u cudnt go anymore further than higher
dat makes sense rite? or not?
oh wateva~

there's pros & cons for working and studying life
u juz gota set ur priorities rite
for me ,
my priorities are neva rite
as *LAZY * takes up more space in me
=p

ppl around me are getting kinda too annoying for me
im trainin myself to turn a deaf ear on
dat will do the trick rite?
cz if not ,
i wud like to smack their head for once.

T.I.R.E.D

work is tiring
but its kinda fun

*during system breakdown*
everybody yells : Jackieee gt problem!!!
cz he's our system support person
without him , the whole system will be in the mess

each counter has their own helpers
the front desk person will hav to write down
pin codes for them to search

whole day u'll hear nicknames like
*Bak Kua , Ong Ong , Joo Joo*
or guys keeps teasing each other
dey r real clowns
xD

our best time is wen we are asked to close our counters
u'll hear us saying YAY!

its 2nd day
3 more days to go
10 thousand more T-shirts waiting to be collect

*thumbs up* part timers
=)

Good student?

so , its oni tuesday tomorow
& im skipping the week's class for work
*HEH*
good student kan?
oni once a year..
so itss ok~
evn my parents know
=D

me so so sleepy dah
i dun knw y
age hav been catching up lately
clock strike 8pm & the body goes weak


2 more days to go Boy!!!
giddy up ~ giddy up~!!
last sem d , so tink of the freedom u'll get aft it
time will fly
the battle will end fast
ALL DA BEST BUNNYYY~
♥

Dreams....

thou shall abide this rule.

Never give up
Never think your a loser
Never think your taking too long
Never find the easy way out

as Dreams , u gota achieve it
eventho it might be hard
but u'll love the result of it
& for the hard work u've put into it
u'll cherish it more aft achieving it

normal humans have Dreams that dey wana achieve
however do not knw whether will it be realized
trust me ,
if u sit & do nothing
of course it wont come ur way

no matter whether
its a small Dream or a big one
REMEMBER :
DREAMS could be achieved!

My dream?
well i bet most of u would know
if u dun knw..
then read my older entries!
=)

Swimming on the floor?

hehe...
its so cute , juz gota post it up
im much of a photobucket freak nwadays

Saturday , wat a boring day
i practically stuck my face to da tv whole day
watching Gossip gals
=)
but watching straight 2 dvds cud be boring

back in Penang yo!
island gurl is gona rock the world~
blah~ *juz excuse me cz im bored*
=p

had a long chat with a long lost buddy of mine
oh the wonders of facebook
hw cud we live without u?!


current fav tune :

因为爱 by wei li an

因为爱 所以爱。。 珍惜在一起的愉快~

♥

107 facts

juz some facts i've found.....

the no. of mobile users in Japan will increase to

107 million by the end of 2010

According to Nestle , a milk choco two-finger

Kit Kat contains 107 calories

Robert Pattinson starred as a 107-year old

vampire , Edward Cullen , in Twilight

The tallest living dog , a great dane

measures 107cm

X-Men origins : Wolverine has a running time

of 107 minutes.

im back in sp for da weekend

taught the kids dance

n guess hw many came this week?

oni 3!! (>.<)

stil in their deepavali mode i guess

mum's back ;

patchy n princey is so so smelly ;

me so wana go out ;

i wan a new HP!!!.

blah~! life is juz slow mo here..

boyfie cudnt entertain me cz finals

=(

hw sad rite?

i keep telling myself to study study study!

but i end being lazy bunny bummy

xD

How ironic!

ooohh singing~
* Love is in the AIR , everywhere i look around~* by John paul young
that's how a normal human being will feel
at the starting of a new relationship
& went it comes to an end , u'll sing
*Baby come back to me* by Vanessa hudgens

Love gives u the happiness in life
it also bring u thru hell on earth
how ironic rite?!

A relationship is like a lil baby taking baby steps
u grow thru it lilttle by little
understand & learn to accept flaws of urself and other half
Did anyone says its easy?
hell no~!
its like a calm sea which have strong under currents

*LOVE* at times ppl tend to misused it
mistakenly tink dat LOVE = LIKE
sorry peeps , its totaly wrong!

thru experience , ppl say things like
* i couldnt live without u!!*
one thing for sure the reason between those lines are
* I dont wana be lonely *
i've learned , i know
once u cross a stage , u cud actually stand up on ur own

Falling in love is easy
but breaking up cud be messy
sometimes it'll end up real bad
however sometimes it'll end mutually
it depends on how matured the two individuals are

the ppl around my age are constantly falling in & out of luv
but ppl around 30 are getting married thru out the year
so my advise to those heart broken out there ,
be still & know that der will be someone out der in the world especially for u
ur in the hunt of finding the right one before settling down
ur on ur way , so be patience.

*the grass is greener on the other side*

=D
CHEERS!

im good at advising other ppl
but not good in advising myself
xD
HEH*
how weird!

Life as we know it..

i wud rate this movie 7/10
cz Josh Duhamel is super crazy HOTTTT!!
Fergie is one lucky chick to marry him~

a worth watch movie
but its oni showing in Gurney Plaza GSC
its more about parenting with a lil romance & comedy
however the end is kinda predictable

wen back SP on friday
& had family gathering on sat nite
every1 was back
=)
& as usual me da small 1 alws kena bully

converse warehouse sale at Queensbay
but ders nothing much compared to last year
stuff are almost the same
or probably lesser

nwadays dont hav da inspiration to blog
dont knw y
hmmm.....

Update on her :
7 treatments to go & aft dat hopefully she's free

Quote

The best part of a relationship, is getting to call the person, or lay down next to them, and tell them all the crazy things that happened to you all day long. In the end that’s what it’s about. It’s not about sex, it’s not about the money they give you, it’s not about how good looking they are, it’s about them listening to you talk for hours and hours and hours, about stupid shit that doesn’t matter.

I ♥ ME!

♥

Love ya'self
b4 you could Love others

I WANT THIS TEEEE!!!
where could i get it?

its nothing wrong in Loving yourself
but wen it gets too much
it becomes

I AM Selfish~
=)

there is alws a limit to everything.

i knew ...

WORD.

u tink u know them?
but u neva reali do
u tink u undstand them?
but u neva actually do

it will come to a point wen there's oni
" Hi , Bye" in the conversation
thats wen
the person u thought u knw ,
is actually a perfect stranger from the begining.

anything could happen in this world we're living in
truth is out there but u gota search for it
if u stand there juz acting dumb ,
the world's gona take u down

its a Cruel world nwdays
dun u agree?

"Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy."

Nora Ephron

wat a torture

aaahhhhhhhhh chooooooo~!
i felt like i've lost my nose
='(
sneezing much
nose is fully blocked
have tasteless buds
gosh~!

Will you sing this?

♥

i HEART this song much

=)

its raining , it pouring
the old man is snoring~
HEH*
Lovely weather on a lazy Saturday
=)
Nap time Loves.

He made my day =)

on a random thought

i wana go CLUBBING!!!
wud u believe if i say
i neva did go clubbing b4?
=)
juz believe it cz i seriously haven't

Flu is a parasite!
its sucking away my strength

today's P2 test was (@.@)
owh i hate Conso ~
HAH! i hate practically everythin bout accounting & finance
=p

the newspaper said
Mon & Tues , Penang will face heavy thunder storm
so peeps in Penang ,
REMEMBER to bring Umbrella okay?


& lastly ,
May my cutie pie PRINCEY boy make u Smile
=D
he's 2 years old

how depressing..

its so sad
i cudnt sing!
i hav no voice & no strength
but sumhow i like being sick
cz i get to slim down
weird kan me?
hehehe...
i wont eat much
nor i cud eat junks at tis time

updates on Her :
2nd day for mum's radiation
so left 13 more days
weekdays she'll b stayin in the hospital
weekends she'll go back home
its beta than goin thru chemotherapy according to her.

bro probably be back this weekend.
Hatyai trip this week canceled
='(
well i guess its good too,
as im sick as well.

Needs a Jab

i want this TWO cuties to cure me!
i'll be up in shape in no time
=)
aren't dey freaking cute?
how i miss my patchy & princey boy now...

down with fever n sore throat
& i gota get well soon
as i got test this coming friday
& i cudnt see my mum if im sick!
='(
cz her immune system is low
as she's goin thru radiotherapy now
so i hav to stay away from her till im super healthy
how sad rite?
hpmz...

Creepiness

i have totally no idea
wats goin on in the brain's of ppl nowadays
its so freaking CREEEEEEEEEPPPYYY~!

Bus Rides~
UGH!
hate it much.

Its my turn now...

Years passed by
& i neva realized how weak u've been
seeing this pic of urs
with oni bones & skin
reali wrecks the heart

Ah Kong has neva showed his side of weakness
he has alws stayed strong & independent
neva wana trouble any1 of us
however , today he ask me can i cut his finger nails for him
cz his hands are too weak to hold a nail clipper

i stunned ,
i juz stared at him and said ok
so he got a chair & sat infront of me

as i hold his hands
all i cud feel is his bone with veins popping out
he told me dat few fingers of his has become numb
i was seriously sad

i recall years wen i was still a naughty lil kid
everyday i would get canning from my mum
& the smarty me will alws run so she cudnt catch me
the safest place for me to be is :
in my Ah Kong's arms
u knw y?
cz mum wudnt cane his own father juz to get to me rite?!
hehehe...
im Pretty smart aite?
=p
but weneva Ah Kong is not around
then im in DEAD TROUBLE!

& owh he is like my Santa Claus
coz he alws get me sweets!!!
i LOVE sweets since young
so , weneva he goes out
i'll be reminding him to get me lotsa lotsa sweets
& everytime he neva fails to put a smile on my face
=)


Ah Kong was like a great saviour to me
wen i cause trouble
he was like a Santa Claus
wen i need sweets
however , wen he was in deep sadness
i cudnt do much to take it away~

he was very weak at 1 point
he was very sad last few weeks
he hardly eats his food nowadays

well thx to his so-called * prodigal son *
who comes to him wen he needs money
& neva visits him any other time

the recent pic of him
taken during his bday in August this year
i reali hope he wud live to see me getting married & have kids
oh yea ~ i have a habit since young coz of him
dat is : Muz have my bolster so i cud oni fall asleep!

thx Ah Kong ,
now its our turn to take care of u
♥

yeap~
seems like it

would you?

i wan no worries & no probs
living in a free & peaceful life ,
dats all i want God.

it keeps bugging me
dats y im stil up tis late
its 3am & its not insomnia

im a drama freak
& all of u knw dat
but i din knw my life wud b so dramatic itself
kinda cool at times ,
however super annoying somehow.

once upon a time ,
someone ask me : Y do you blog?
i answered : cz i treat it as my personal diary
& dat person hit me back by saying
: do u wan every1 to knw ur private stuff? cz online aint private~

so , i've learned much.

Retail therapy ♥

Hell yea~!
dats me...
welcome to my sinful nature of spending
=D
went for retail therapy with mum.
watched * Confession of a Shopaholic * b4
& it dint cure me ~
i juz WANT clothes , more clothes & huge bundles of new clothes!
hehehe..
mum , granny n sis are SHOE lovers

i bot my Christmas dress ady
but aint dat happy aft all
cz it givs me no reason to shop like crazy ady
(>.<)
Hatyai dun be sad ~
i'll definitely shop till i drop!

been having cravings suddenly
at times were cookies
& now Satay Kajang!!
owh pls owh pls ~
wud any1 be kind enuf to deliver from der for me?
xD

Tired & hectic day for me
classes were from 9am til 6pm non-stop
but well , serves me rite for skipping on mon

as im tired , i get real annoyed fast
ppl on bus today are juz annoying me thru da whole journey!
UGH! ppl are stil DISGUSTING these days ~
especially old ppl loves digging their nose infront of every1
idunknwy.
(@.@)

woots!

my day
AWESOME-LY tiring
very confusing eh?
=p

wen out with mah skaterboi ,
bath my two lil brothers & clean the whole hse
so yea~
that shall clear the confusing part

i knw its very VAIN of me to say
that im Pretty~!
*hahaha*
owh well ur pretty if u tink u're pretty
inside out & not oni outer beauty dat matters
u dont need other's judgement
cz dey aint u
♥ ya-self much!

&& owh yea
i KNOW a BITCH
wen i SEE a BITCH
cz my instinct is alws rite
=D
ask me to teach if ya want~

juz skeptical

shud i?
shud i not?
its depressing!!!
it'll kill if i dun pass & keep failing for life

the path im taking , leading me to you
but im reali scared of you
hw to conquer you?
cud i reali do it?
to tell you the truth~
i hav ZERO confidence

Your in my next year's to-do list
if i smoothly graduate
but if i dont , u gota be deferred

passing rate for you in world wide is very LOW
the rates are reali scary!!
(O.o)
ders no 100% passing rate
the highest is a lil above 50% for world wide
so tell me
aint it scary?

Mixed feelings

im a lil skeptical wen u ask me to say
*Thk u God for wat u've done*
its impossible for me to say it at times
cz this year has been a shit-hole
i wud neva wana turn back time this year
all i wana do is look forward

giddy up , gather urself
& leave ur worries behind
*i do tell myself dat all da time*
cz its all in HIS hands
so juz leave it to him

i din mean to be so stupid at times
but i juz cudnt help it
resits makin me look like a fool at times
however dats wat a not-so-smarty person like me needs to go thru

we are small in this tiny world
but we cud make things happen
as determination of oneself
cud do wonders in the world

i cudnt see myself achieving high goals
one of it such as studies
confidence is nt wat i hav for studies
so shud i giv it up or stil hang on?

ppl says its the climb that matter
the journey will lead u the way
no matter on wat's waiting for u on the other side
thou shud enjoy da journey thru

thru the years i've learned much
on hw to write stuffs here
old post were to draggy & detailed
so nw im goin for the synopsis on my life
=)

its a lil kinda funny
to say dat im actually used wit my mum being bald
to see pics of her wit hair seems a lil bit weird now
next treatment starts next month
so well ,
we're hoping for the best!
=D

Wish rite now

could i make a wish rite now God?
i need one rite now
to save someone who's dear to me
but at times annoying

will this be the last of all the disastrous dreams?
will this end the sickness?
will this lead to another worst outcome?
or will this be our last visit to the hosp?

God , i pray~
i hope this wud be the last
the last of stepping into da hosp frequently.

weneva i step into hosp
i feel so sick
probably cz of da surrounding
but somehow or rather...
i luv staying there nt as a patient
=)

Strawberry Land ♥

i miss Camerons much!

♥

wats GREAT about Camerons :
Obviously the cool Weather
the quietness
the fresh air
& the forever STEAMBOAT partay!!!!
hehehe...
stayed der for 2 nites
& we had steamboat for both nites & breakfast!
=D

owh nt in da mood to bloggie much today
received bad news & the menstrual pain is not helping at all
ciaoz~

=)

nearer to nature

i'll be nearer to the freshness of the greens on da earth
in a few hours time
=)

i juz love vacations!
who doesnt?

weekend escape

♥

its been days i've updated my blog

*HEH*

bz lil bee

=)

been attendin classes ady

starting of a new last sem

& our timetable is so pretty dat we dun hav class on fridays!

some week we finis class by weds!

haha..

but our mon til wed is very hectic

had steamboat tues nite

& gona hav steamboat again this sat & sun nite

Teee HEeeee..

will be up in Camerons wit my family

♥

i look like im stil on my hols tho i hav classes d

end of da month goin Hatyai!

owh i love Oct~

My creation

well well

i din sit at home da whole week doing nothing

in fact i made a hand-made pencil case for myself

=)

it all started off by da smarty me

cz i cudnt find a nice pencil case

so i decided to make myself 1 as i have lotsa cloth

let da pics do da talking ya....

this is da end product

aint it Cute?

took me 3 days to finis it

*HEH*

im starting to tink whether im in a wrong course or nt

i luv making stuff like this

but im studyin accounting

doesnt make ny sense rite?

;p

try a lil harder?

wokay results wasnt pleasant

as wat i've expected?
well it came out worst than expected

so yea~
try a lil harder next round

& yea~
im reali down.

keeps tinking~
y am i a failure as alws?
da dumbness in me will nt go away
i shall ;
TOAST to my lazy-ness
TOAST to my dumb-ness
TOAST to my brain-less head

♥ myself much

blahblahblah~
me ♥ myself MUCH
dats y im giving myself another 1 week break!
=D
no 1 does it beta than me.


TODAY da blardy lecturer trick us to go for class
as early as 9am saying its IMPORTANT
but then said *oh sorry* i tot ur class start at 9am
but actually its 11am
damn her!
end up da *Important* thing is to listen to her crap
& then say *i choose oni 18students*
then y da hell u ask us 60 over students to listen?!!
owh screw her~
will neva trust anything dat she says d

talking bout gifts
dont u alws come to a point of exploding thinking of wat to get?
hard to predict wat ppl want
or wat they need

Pain is Gain

To those who had neva done facial before
let me tell u~
the myth that u cud sleep during facial is WRONG
yes its pampering urself
but in da painful way
however , u'll love the results aft it
=D

the aunty who did facial for me is a GOD sent for me
da 1st time she met me my face was filled with acne
its been years like dat
she cudnt stand seeing gals with faces like dat
so she called my mum to ask me whether i wana do facial
she's a beautician so u knw y she's so sensitive...
i've been goin to her for facial since last year
i tink i did facial 4 times
& my face tremendously changed
compared to last time , nw my face is beta
she blessed me much!

the process was reali painful
tears flowed but it dint stop me from goin to her for treatment
as its good for my face
to free it from acne
=)

Like...seriously???

Tell me now
would you as a parent in da future
favour your SON more than daughters?
if u are then ur a BIMBO!
hw da hell now dat guys are more useful compared to gals?
hw da heck guys now are smarter than gals?
hw da heck u tink guys need more attention than gals?
we are all da same
YOUR CHILDREN for goodness sake~
genders doesnt let u favour 1 more than the other

here's a story bout a Bimbo dad
he favours da son more compared to his daughters
the son is a stupid feler while da daughters are smart
da 2nd youngest was the smartest
however due to financial prob
the dad stopped her from continuing her studies
so dat the dad cud afford to send the stupid son for higher education
but it turns out the son continue to be the dumbest of all
neva own a hse tho he is already married with kids
his dad fully paid for da car he is using nw
the dad did so much to help him in life
& u knw hw da son paid back?
by MOVING OUT of da hse cuz da wife cudnt stand his parents
an ASS rite?
fyi , da parents cudnt stand da wife cz ders reason
the son sided the wife & moved out
but then came back to his dad asking for MONEY to buy a hse
a DOUBLE JERKASS rite?
his dad din promise to give
aft dat the dad fall sick & he came to the rescue
but aft he found dat his dad is not at the verge of dying yet
he wen home aft knowing he is nt gona die yet
days past & the son came back to see him
asking again for MONEY again
the dad is so sick he doesnt give a damn
he only knws how to ask for MONEY every single day!!

wat a bugger~
im ashamed dat i knw this son of his
seriously , i wudnt acknowledge him later on in da future
he is ady nearly retirement age
no money , no savings , no property , no values
he is a LOSER in LIFE
if he had think about his future
he wudnt stop work for nearly 3 years
juz cuz he is tired of workin.

so guys pls plan ur future well
dun end up a life like his
if u hav da money invest in property
rather than enjoy life day by day without working
& spending like nobody's bizness

What a life

seriously
i dun knw wat a fucking life i got at times
wateva i do is wrong

for me i juz do wat i tink i shud
juz to fend off ny probs in da future
but NO!~
ppl doesnt tink da way i do
& then end up accusing me for things dat they THOUGHT!
FML rite?!!!!
FUCK MY LIFE!
FUCK IT!~

FYI i usually dun swear
till i cudnt take da anger nymore~
owh judge me however u wan
i dont giv a damn
as im nt living my life pretending to be nice.

Daniel Cloud Campos

aint he CUTE?!
*HEH*
dont he look familiar?
well he is Kid Darkness in Step Up 3
does it ring a bell nw?
=)

so well i was rite dat he is mixed asian
as he is filipino mix caucasian
im falling in LOVE with u
=p

btw mix blood babes & hunks
alws hav great looks
dun u tink so?

with Loads of ♥

he is a boy ; i am a gurl
wana make it more obvious?
im a drama-queen ; he's a gamer king
but we rock each other's world
♥
he loves staying home ; she loves shopping spree
we look like we cudnt click
but dats the trick
for us to stick &
we ♥ GLEEEEEE!

Happy Anniversary to You & Me~!
may you ever more fall in love with me
& me with you
=)

Bad mood

thats about it.

I Me Myself

im kinda bored rite now
so for da fun of it
im scribbling down few facts of me :
=)

1) i suck at Chess but im kinda good at Checkers
2) im da kind of person who loves to go the opposite way
like if my dad says No , i'll still do it no matter wat
=D
3) im very stubborn headed & do not giv a damn wen in angry
: mind you i walked out of my hse at midnite to sit
at da church's playground for hrs alone :
(owh my SP hse is very big =) )
4) tho im a chinese , im not good in the language
& being brought up in an english speaking family
im nt very good in english too
to sum it all up...
im nt good at any language
*heh*
5) Do not trust ppl much... it takes me Years to trust sum1
6) i have lotsa secrets , whom oni He knows of
7) have lotsa theories toooo~
like if u swallow a watermelon seed
eventually it'll turn into a tree inside u
*hehehe..blame my granny for it!*
8) my family is quite interesting as we are all favours
da no.3 or any multiplication of no.3
sis & bro = 3 years apart
bro & me = 6 years apart
me & sis = 9 years apart
me & all my cuzins mum's side = all 3 years apart from each other
*Amazing rite?*
9) im friendly if u knw me
but im an arrogant feler if u dun knw me
*sum1 aso realised it*
cz i dun talk to u if i do not knw u
10) i actually talked with all of my FB frenz at least once
& i do actually knw them by name
11) i love to be da different one or u'll say one of its kind ;
i do not yearn to be the center of attention
juz da different one among peers
12) a huge fan of Lee Hom
13) a HUGE fan of korean & taiwan dramas
14) wishes to be borned as a South Korean
15) wen i feel like crying , i'll tink of sad things
& start crying
*im weird , i knw*
16) do not think dat talking bout *dirty* stuff is bad
sum ppl give me a look wen im juz tryin to be like a normal human
dont u guys think dat like 24/7?!
but y wen i talk u look at me as if im da *dirty* one?
owh sick ppl who tries to deny things
17) i LOVE REVENGE
think im bad?look urself in da mirror
judge urself b4 judging me
but for me revenge is Karma
so well...
18) wen i HATE u ; i reali HATE u
to make me dissolve da HATE in me
it'll take time
19) im alws the one who loves bringing ppl together
wen i see ppl argue , i find it dat its like my job to bring them together
i dun knw y , its juz me
20) i rather suffer pain alone then to let it out
i juz dun wana bring burden to another party
21) parents knws nothing bout my private life
22) imma DOG Lover but NOT a Cat lover
23) i hate beer but i like liqour
=)
24) i NEVA been clubbing b4
25) would NEVA date smokers eventho dey are cute
26) im very sensitive ; i get hurt easily
but i do brush da hurt off easily if i wan to
27) im a total blur case gal
28) prefer Pants to Skirts/ dress
29) loves to help ppl who hav probs
for those ppl who commit suicide cases in da newspapers
i alws wish dat i've known them earlier to talked to them
& talked them out of that thought
30) i cudnt control my own emotions wen im reali pissed off/ sad



well thats 30 facts bout me.

Will da circle breaks?

a Circle of great frenz
will it ever break?
will it last for a lifetime?
will gossip arise & break ties?
will disagreements cut off communications?
will we stay together no matter what happen?
will we forgive each other for the wrong things we've done?


its a great time catching up
with my highskol girls last nite
tho we had oni a few hours together
we had lotsa fun laughing much
♥
i cudnt thank u all more
for being such great buddies
who knows me well
& do not judge me on my flaws
7 Bitches REIGNS!


To my other Besties :
i
♥
u all MUCH!
=)

shud i?

shud i get a tatoo?

Food = Happiness

wen to Station 1 in SP today
ders live band der
so dey announced dat Lee hom's song is next
but wen he started singing
gosh~ hw i wish he rather dint sing!
hehehehehe
=p
or mayb i was expecting too much?


as i tink i began to wonder
hw did i spent my days in SP during my highskol years?!
cz SP is freaking small & ders no wer to go
i juz rmbered dat i hav lotsa tuitions
form 4 & 5 i had tuitions almost everyday
sicko rite?
i dun knw y i wen for tuitions also


wen jogging again today
& everyday we'll da same old man
he was der b4 us
& he was stil der wen we wana go back
gosh~ we youngsters oni jog for a while

Last but not least ,
i am very HAPPY wen im EATING
*nyek nyek nyek*

Growing Up

when we where young
we wud say we wana date a guy who is Cute
when we grow into teenage years
we wud wan a guy who has da looks & aso da car
when we get into adulthood
we wud wan a guy who is rich & give security
when we are out of options
we wud juz accept ny guys dat comes our way

life is so unpredictable rite?
or izit LOVE dat is unpredictable?

u see..
da word LOVE was neva mention in da above
realise it?
cz these days ppl hardly mention da word LOVE around me
all i hear is Money , Car & Security
from gals around my age

so wats LOVE to them nw?

Teenage Dream & Just the way you are - Acapella Cover - Katy Perry - Bru...

This guy is AWESOME!
he makes music by juz using his mouth
& da best part is....
HE IS CUTE TOOOO
=p

Dreamland

at times im drowned in thoughts
wen i juz sit stil
& my brain starts to wonder
to another dreamland
that i call *Fantasy*
=)
however , it doesnt all end up happy
cuz there is alws *What If......*
playing in my brain

Zero point

there are times in our life
we'll suddenly overcome by emotions
da down point in our life
wen we juz need sum1 to be der to lend an ear
to hear us out
to pity us
to juz sit der without a word & listen patiently
no matter are u a guy or a gurl
every1 will hav THAT day
the *EMO* day
wen tears starts flowing down ur cheeks
without u knowing why
wen u cudnt seem to find da reason
for being so down

Sometimes u juz cudnt seem to cry it out
sometimes it seems dat u juz cudnt stop crying
have u ever been in dat situation?
i did~
for me , i feel that
its a way of growing up

a torture ; it is

ok today is reali bored
since 6pm time has been passing real slow
i wantd to go out but no1 wana go out

have been watching Pretty Lil Liars
& other dramas too
but its doesnt seem to kill my boredom
msn cudnt log in
cudnt play games in fb
gosh! SP internet sucks MAX!

next im craving for junk food
like seriously i tink of it every min
but i juz cudnt give in to dat temptation of mine
cuz im on a diet plan
da plan is to lose as much weight b4 my sem starts
i've been gaining weight much since last year
& i dislike it much!
so for da sake of it
i MUST brush off da temptation
GOD i knw u'll help me rite?
=D

lalalalal~
its oni 10.30pm!
wat to do next?
bug boyfie?
heh*
=p

spamming on ppl's page on FB is indeed FUN!

dance to the beat

ny nice new hillsongs recently?

im out-dated!

=p

wana choreograph a dance for da kid's church

for them to present it during christmas

need to make myself useful for da church

cz nw is da oni time im free till NEXT YEAR

='(

stupid TARC no hols for christmas

im a Very Good CSI investigator

ask me wat prove i've found this time

if ur bzbody to knw

*nyek nyek nyek*

im not evil

but if u are to me

dont complain dat im evil to u

=)

karma

i believe bout karma

wat goes around comes around

its nt bad to believe this

cz this is reality

its nt a way of revenge

but sumhow it seems like it

theres this uncle whom i hate much

he is da cause of my dad's hearing

da oldest bro of my dad

he is a player

nw it his 3rd wife

& mind u his kids from da 1st wife

dun even wana call him dad

he *GOT SERVED!*

last week he got into hospital for mild stroke

& no1 gives a damn

like la we care

arogant , egoistic jerk like him dun deserve ny care.

yday wen for a jog

felt good aft dat cuz i've sweat it off

hehehe...

today hopefully it doesnt rain

its great being home

wake up in da morning & hug my fluffy lover

i love them both much much