S.A.D

Sitting here...facing da com...in my comfy room in sp...thinkin dat tonite is my last nite here..makes me so sad...

i dun knw y i hav this feeling...aint i happy to go penang?aint i happy to stay away from my parents?aint i happy dat i have more freedom in penang?...hhmmm...mix feelings rite now...i dun feel like goin back penang...i dun wana leave this room..this hse...this place dat i've stayed for 4 years...a place dat i called HOME SWEET HOME since 14years old..

sp gives me a relaxing lifestyle...everyday i seem to hav lotsa spare time for myself...i sleep weneva i wan...i wake up weneva i wan...i go out weneva i wan...i blast da hse with loud music wen no 1 is around...but..weneva im in sp...im alws home alone...i will neva eva be home alone in penang...cuz my grandpa will alws b around...he hardly goes out...

i keep reminding myself...7 more weeks...and dats it...i will return to sp d...so y sad?..cuz mayb i wont...mayb i will continue in TARC...mayb tho...hav to make my decision soon..

i like sp...i like da peaceful surroundings...i like it cuz der is no hse near mine and i cud sing how loudly i want...and another thing...i like sp cuz my two lil siblings are here...patchy and prince..

Me Like...

im so into BRITISH guys!!! i super LOVE their ACCENT! so sexy so hot! xD

especially this guy.....ALEX PETTYFER...da Lead Actor of WILDCHILD...i luv da way he laughs!

(>.<)

its ady thurs and next monday my classes will begin...owh new semester..and aso my last for diploma!!!yeappy!!!hope i pass all my subs last sem...if not..i wud hav to resit it again in this sem...my this sem will oni hav two subs..and its oni gona take 7 weeks...lalalala~!im so happy!!

wanted to go out tonite..but its raining...DANG!!! well i guess dramas are my most loyal company..parents will be goin for a funeral... =( ...its sad dat i cudnt spend much time with them aso during my break..cuz dey r alws out or having service in church...BLA!!!y da heck muz dey make themselves so buzy with church??!!! owh geramnya aku...even on mondays wen they are free..dey will go for visitation..well i guess church ppl r MORE important tho..screw them!

oooppsss..its LENT season..a season to fast and pray and aso less swearing...but OWH..wat i care...saying "stupid" is swearing...my gawd!!!i wud b a nun if i dun swear..but tooooo bad i do...ppl aint puuuurfect...mum keep tellin me to fast and pray...but too bad mum...if i dun eat on time..i'll get gastric and it will make me evn worst.. xD ...if u r a true christian...u dun even ned to wait till tis LENT season to fast and pray..other times u can do so...so y now acting? (@.@)

i probably have changed....yea i knw..but well tis is me now..

sweet memories...

last nite i was talkin to an old buddy of mine frm kl....i guess those from kl will knw...John Jerald...(^^)...i stil keep in touch with them..cuz those years in kl was da best years i cud ever ask for...i thk God for giving me da chance to knw u great ppl for whole 3 years...and trust me...i was super duper sad wen i knw dat im gona leave u guys to go to sp..

talkin to him brot back lotsa memories of our gang der...most of us has da initial "J" as our name...it was so so cool...hehehe...i miss u guys...7 years had passed since i left kl...=(...hope to meet all of u guys again in ASC...but im sure not all r there now...cuz some had left..Jordan wen aussie..Joanna we dun knw how is she now....Crystalyn i reali hav no news from her...John not in ASC d...Arthur too...Jeremy i got no news from him too...Han jie too..oni Joyce, Tommy, Jason and Billy in ASC...

we alws run to da nearest mamak stall aft church service to have our lunch and then rush back to church for sunday skol...*still rmb guys??* (^^)...and do u all still rmb we kena scolded during service by John's dad for talking?hehehe...and we hide in da guy's room during our church camp in bukit tinggi wen da elders came to check on us...and owh there is so much more...(>.<)

we may neva talk to each other as often as last time...but da memories we had together im sure all of u remembered...no matter wer we go...no matter wer we r in da future...i'll rmb u guys...buddies for life!!!...da memories we had will alws remain in my mind..

da times we spent together...

da sound of our laughter...

da times we cling on each other's shoulder for comfort...

da times we kena scolded...

da times we ejek each other..

da times we spent in da church...

i'll alws remember..

i MiSs YoU GuYs!!...

lets meet up one day okies??!!

too bad i dun hav ny pics of us.. =(

.......

*screams at da top of her lungs*

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!DAMN U........

STREAMYX!!!!!

da internet connection is killing me slowly...

juz to load a page it takes me more than 10mins...

OMGAWD!!!!

(@.@)

My baby at last is starting his class d...he has been rottin at home since december...haiyo...shud start study d...too long d his break...how i wish mine was dat long too...but *smack my head*...wake up from ur dream gal!...

he is back to penang...and im still in sp...feels so far away from him... =(

miss him so much...dun knw whether he feels da same way too or not...how i wish we wer da same coll...stayin in da same hostel...therefore we cud meet up anytime we wan...

my post seems boring these days...cuz i seriously hav nothin to do at home...sleep...watch dramas...eat...or go out...sleep again...(^^) and i lazy to write bout my tots on stuff...owh PIG me!

one more week of holiday left...TIME FLIES!!!GOSH!...this week will b filled with services...cuz Ash Wednesday...and then sunday service...i've become super holy aft cuming back to sp...cuz in penang i hardly go church... xp....SSSsssssSHHH...dun tell my parents!!!heheheeh....

i miss....

H.I.M

he has...

been a part of my life...

or i shall say...

he has a huge impact in my daily life...

something like a habbit...

i'll go crazy if i dun msg him for a day...

and i'll go insane if he doesnt reply me back...

i dun mind dat we dun get to meet often...

but i mind if we lost contact evn for a day...

communication btween us is da most important thing...

life's tough on us now...

but i wont giv up on US..

i promise...

we will walk thru this rocky road together...

i sometimes do wish dat miracle will happen for us..

our future is so blur...

so blur till u cudnt predict nythin..

its hard living a life like this..

cuz u may neva feel secure..

shall u be da pillar dat i'll hang on to?

i need security on our future..

ENUF!!tis is tooooooo MUCH....

Corruption...

Fakers...

Liars...

ENOUGH!!

POLITICS POLITICS POLITICS!!!!

i had enuf of it d...

seems like a rundown country these days...

da newspaper reported dat a 23yr old nurse commit suicide by jumping off da penang bridge aft an arguement with her parents bout her spending habbit...lol!!!tis is ridiculas...probably der is much more prob bhind this matter...but commiting suicide is juz way too "smart" move to prove dat she still has a lil kid's brain...(>.<)...its like a TREND now to commit suicide juz to solve a prob...LIFE to them seems so worthless...

i miss u...

i dun even knw wen could i meet u...

Worries fill my mind every single day..

Hope filled my heart dat i cud meet u someday...

another side of me...

*Raindrops are falling on my head...*
so happy cuz FINALY...it RAIN today...
luv da smell of da rain..
aaaaahhh...THK U GOD!
it has been super hot these days..
thx for cooling da weather tonite so i cud sleep tite...


i watch back da vids of me singing...and i realise one thing...dat is...i wasnt SHY at all..weneva i walk up da stage...im super shy..i dun knw y...but wen da music plays and i begin to sing...i felt like i become da other me...da other me who is so daring and full of confidence..

if ur a stranger who come up to me and talk..i'll give u a cold shoulder...if i dun knw u well...i will give u a cold shoulder too...u may tink dat im snobbish..but actually im not wen u reali knw me..u can say dat i have two faces..but dats juz me..

lots of my frenz wer shock to see me join da singing competition...dey wer skeptical bout it...i sang infront of them..n dey wer like wow!neva knew u cud sing so well...da normal me look like i do not have any confidence..but on da stage me is full of it...

i luv stage...
but..i still have stage fright...
and dats da scariest! cuz it cud ruin ur whole performance....


Today is juz another day dat is filled with dramas...dramas dat make me dream...activate my imagination...MY GAWD!im luving this life so so much!!

LOVE...

wat is da true meaning of LOVE??

y izit so powerful?

Bcuz of LOVE.....

ppl commit suicide...

ppl cry like der is no tomorrow...

ppl get hurt...

ppl suffer...

ppl go into depression...

ppl go insane...

ppl confuse...

ppl lost their way of life...

and for some..

Bcuz of LOVE...

ppl smile...

ppl feel loved...

ppl happy...

ppl found their other half...

ppl wont be lonely nymore...

to be exact...LOVE...der is pros and cons...

it is good if u alws face da pros of LOVE...

however...if u cudnt face da CONS of LOVE...

then i advice u...

DO NOT GET INTO A RELATIONSHIP!!

i do get mad weneva i read bout ppl killing themselves aft bein dump..

if LOVE is da WORLD to u...then u r wrong!wrong!!WRONG!!

u cud still live on earth if u have lost ur LOVE..

BCUZ...der is still so much ppl living on earth!

Am i blind?!

Been so lazy to blog for da past few days..
and Jordan...u TAG me too much d la...i ned time to slowly do it ya....xD
u'll b da 1st person i'll tag if i got any...Muahahaha*evil laughs*

wen to B'worth on sunday morning..had dim sum 1st before goin to a church der...
Mon...wen out at nite with frenz...same goes for tues...
and yday i wen penang cuz dad had class and mum gota do her specs...so i drove whole day...and i had oni 3 hours of sleep da nite before... (>.<)...damn tiring..

owh i knocked a motorbike yday near my hse wen we almost rcd home!!!

BUT...its not serious...juz a knock...i wasnt goin fast...luckily i break fast...

i seriously din see him...its a junction and i wana turn in...i tot no car so i turn and makan da next lane abit..and i got a shocked seeing him infront of me...so i faster break...kena lecture from parents...haihz..all i tell them is...i SERIOUSLY din see him...he probably was at my blind spot...everybody has it...so counted as and accident??mayb...juz a sratch on my car..i made my MARK!! xD

today i drove out for lunch..and parents wer hesitating whether to let me drive or not...and i told them..fine dun let me drive..so FOREVER dun let me drive..c'mon..no 1 on earth NEVA got into an accident..and mine is minor 1..no 1 was injured aso..scary cat!at least i wana drive..sum of my frenz got license but dun drive cuz got into accident b4..wats da point of having license??!!!

nyway...i had tis for dinner....------>see da pic below....



guess wat izzit...parents had PCC meeting...so i gota find my own fud....its HAM with Cheese...ekekeke...

took from da ferry in da on da way to penang...nice rite?

My Valentines........

i tot i wud be staying home da whole day during this day.......

BUT....

HAH!!! bf msg me and said come lets go out...ekekeke...actualy i was still sleepin wen he msg...and dat was like 12.10noon...hehehe...thk god i woke up to check da time..was planning to sleep back again if i din see his msg...xD

aft lunch...i decided to go cut my hair...cuz i ady wanted to cut kinda long ago d...juz wana change my hair style...bored with my same old look since high skool...so i took da last pic of me with da side parting....

and......

then....

aft hair cut.....

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

*Ta Da!!!*

tempurung HEAD!

or i my fren said...

COCONUT HEAD!

hahaha...im stil so not use to my new hair!!

DENG!it freaks me out sometimes wen i look into da mirror

stil so weird for me...cz i hav da same style since highskol..

lalalala~!

i shall get use to it...

jz my tots...

Love hurts....
y izit so??
shudnt it alws be sweet and not sour??
now i knw y daddy says dun date till ur old enuf to handle it....

had a chat with my fren bout dating a celebrity...
hmm...i admit...we gals have lots of imagination...and with all da drama we watch..it made us DREAM more...
especially korean and taiwan dramas...most of da main actress has da best bf u cud eva find in this world...owh we do dream dat wat if we are in dat main actress position...
how i wish my bf was so good...how i wish my bf is like him...how i wish my bf is so romantic...HOW I WISH!!!hahahaha...those guys in da drama has no flaws!and its bullshit...no 1 is perfect in this world...those r juz ACTING...

eva tink of dating a celebrity??!!!owh yes i did!!LEE HOM!!but dats IMPOSSIBLE...neva in this life i will bump into him in person unless im in taiwan..rite??its real hard to meet these famous celebrities...so y we still tink WAT IF dey r our bf??hahaha...we juz luv it...lalalala~!

BUT...if it reali happens...so how?will it be easy to date a celebrity? NO!...cuz u will neva be left alone...da reporters will alws tag bhind and snap pics..u wont have da privacy...and probably ur celebrity bf wont have much time to spend with u..at da end...u'll b tired of it and will juz let him go...rite?!

da news of Chris Brown hit Rihanna reali shocked me..im sure whole world is aso shocked by it...he dun seems to be that kind of bad tempered guy..therefore..we shud not judge a book by its cover...guy hittin a gal is a big NO NO thing...ur a JERK if u hit a gal...and gals...if ur bf hit u...juz LEAVE dat JERK k...is not worth it...

i have a good fren..she told me she's in luv with a celebrity..and everynite...everyday...she pray to god dat it will come thru dat she will marry dat celebrity..nothing is impossible to GOD..so i told her...if it do come thru..i will believe her...for now...i juz take it as a joke...so wat do u guys think?i feel its impossible...cuz if it is possible...do u knw how many millions of ppl praying like her??then dat feler will have to split himself up!hehehe...i was once like her...but dat guy i like wasnt a celebrity..juz a normal human...things din happen..worst off he din knw a thing..so its impossible~!!

......

feels like nothin to blog ni...cuz if i reali wana write things in here...i scared i might be caught to ISA...hehehehe...lol

a blog is not as private as u tink..

well well...starting of 2009 for da politics in M'sia is goin no where better...its stil suck..and will continue to suck in da future..read da papers u'll knw more! xD

things happen bhind da scene we may neva knw...but im sure one day it will reveal itself...

i love m'sia but with da current politics probs...this place has made me wana flee from here..feels like its no longer a safe nor happy country to be in....

i wana get out of here!!DENG!..im sure it wont be so soon...=(

wen out with frenz juz now and its nice catching up with their lifes..time with them its like so short cuz alws time flies when we r having fun..wen cud we meet again my dear frenz??!!

Its...

Its nearly 3am and im stil awake cuz im on a break so....

YAY!!!!

i LOVE SLEEPING LATE and geting up LATE!!

xD

da best thing u cud ask for during holidays is...u get to sleep as much as u want...owh i luv it...u may call me a pig!but I DUN CARE!gahhhh...its my life...i decide to live my life...

so since im free..y din i update my blog??heheh...der is oni 1 reason...cuz i dun have TIME...yea u see it rite...TIME!cuz i've been spendin all my free time on drama drama drama!!im wathing 3 dramas at a time...so u guess...do i have time to blog?? xp

will blog bout those dramas later wen i finis watched them...HAH!but i've been goin out lots too...

TODAY...spend da whole day with my dear in penang..he called me at 12 sumthing in da noon but i was still sleeping..and thk god i din put silent..so da hp woke me up...actualy im suppose to get up at 10am to watch da GRAMMYS...but da lzy me decided to sleep...xD

yeap im so happy to see him aft A MONTH!! (=.=)..yea wat a life we got...haihz...but at least we still cud meet up...i became his fashion advisor for da day...cuz he wanted to get shirts and i dun wan him to get black colour again!!guys have da habbit of buyin lotsa BLACK t-shirts rite??!!...thk gawd now he has more colours in his wardrobe =)

and aso..i've been eatin lots these days..my dear keep askin me to eat less...(>.<)..like today..had dinner with him at 5 sumthing at nando's...but when i rcd home sp at 8 sumthing i had 3 pieces of pizza...hhhmmm..is dat too much??i wasnt hungry when i eat those pizza...i ate cuz my parents made it themselves..(^^)...good excuse eh??...muhahahaha...

oh yeah...yet again frustrations filling my mind as my diploma is gettin to da end...wat i wana do aft this?wer i wana head to?which is da best choice?will i regret on da decisions made later???GAWD!!!im confuse...i seriously dun knw wer to head to...TARC givin us a good option..but....bro ask me to reali think of it 1st...cuz its only advance diploma..he feels dat its not worth my time doin it...DANG!!! IM STUCK!

a moment like this...by me

aei aei...

i joined a singing com in december in my college...

so this vid is da song i sang for my finals nite..

take a look!

(>.<)

feel free to leave comment if ya want...

i dun mind harsh or nythin...

cuz its juz for me to knw my weakness and change it

(^^)

oh yeah i do hope to be a singer tho...

but for now..

let it be my hobby..

bein a singer is way beyond my dreams...

xD

*fingers cross*

i stil HOPE!!

i do think it will come thru if i strive for it..

da song...

a moment like this

by Kelly clarkson

hey hey yay yay!!

Holla PEEPS!!

im back....

(^^)

FINALS is finally OVER..

so HELLO to HOLIDAY!!!

3 weeks break...hmmm

kinda short rite??

owh its not "kinda"

it is SHORT!

damn...aft dat last sem

and then...

i hav no idea wer im gona head to aft dat...

(>.<)

gona hav a tough time to make decisions again...

haihz..

well...since da last post...

have been bz with enjoying my CNY and aso studyin..

da worst nitemare is ppl is HAPPY for CNY..and da pathetic me gota tink of FINALS...

but well...bad stuff had passed...

will i FLOP ny paper??

well...tis time...I DO TINK SO

cuz i reali hav no confidence at all...

da oni paper i hav is COMPANIES LAW..

weird rite?

cuz dat paper was so easy dat i got out of da hall 1 hour earlier!!

HAHAHA...

(^^)

CURRENTLY...

im into DRAMA again!!

LALALALA~!!

and

daniel powter's song..

NEXT PLANE HOME

PLANNING to..

spend my holiday watching DRAMA..

xD

and goin back sp and hang out wit high skol frenz...

im stil close to my gang of gals...

but we stil bitch bhind each other's back..

haha...

however..i try to be a sober 1...

if ny1 ask me whether other gal bitch bout them or not...

i'll juz act dun knw..

c'mon we r frenz...

y wana bitch on bestie??!!

ugh....

i have...

gain weight for eating so much wen i go out...

or by juz stayin at home...

HAH!

my mouth gets itchy and juz wana munch food...

lalalalala~!

and..

i eat like 4 to 5 mandrin oranges per day!!

hehehehe....

xD

i will..

post more d since im free to do anythin i want!

all u juz ned to do is wait~

xp