I cried...

u all may tink dat im a cryin baby cz i ad posted kinda a few post sayin dat i cried...bt i jz cudnt control my tears..

wen i was 14 daddy said do not date until ur workin..bt i din listen..nw i knw y he said dat to me..cz nw ni i knw..bein in a reletionship is nt dat easy..luckily i din do nythin stewpid aft breakin up so many times..cz i wasnt serious in those relationship at all..it was jz puppy luv..bt tis time..im 4 real..dats y it hurts so much wen i mizz him..

we cud msg up to more than 100 msges per day..bt lately..we hav been msgin lesser n lesser..til i oni delete my inbox aft keepin 3 days of msges..=(..im real sad..bt i dun knw he knws it or not..i've ask him does he fel bored msgin me?n he said no..i was so relief..

time passes so fast dat next month wil mark our 3rd year together..tis is his longest reletionship dat eva lasted n aso mine..dats y sumtimes i fel complicated..whether does he stil luv me or nt..cz by msgin..u wudnt knw..sumtimes i do get angry wen he replied me late..bt i dun show it in my msges..cz scared he wud say dat im childish 4 gettin angry 4 smal things..bt in my mind..wen he reply me late...i wud hav negative tots..probably he is msgin another gal..or probably he is talkin to 1..hmm..these tots jz fel my mind..alws...n i hav to try so darn hard to push those tots away n pretend im OK wit him replyin me late..

i've ask him..did he notice dat lately i hardly tel him things?...he said no..bt honestly..lately i've been keepin things frm him..n i sought my comfort by telin my mates..he has been so bz these days..til wen i cal him aso he din wana talk n said he is chargin his phone..so i said fine..bt actualy i was reali sad...cz wen he pick up da phone time..his tone of voice is like so unhappy dat i called n wana quickly end da call wit me..i knw his frenz is der..bt cudnt he talk nicely n nt like so in da rush to end da call?he is alws either playin game or talkin wit his mates..wer da heck he got da time to talk wit me rite? i do hope he wud jz leave sum time of his day jz lying on da bed n msg oni me...probably im askin too much..=(..cz alws wen he msg me while talkin to his frenz..wateva i tel him..neva gets into his brain..im real sad..

all i cud do is cry..

last few days my sis evn asked me...u broke up wit him izit?n i said no...she don seem to believe it wen i said no da 1st time..i hav to say no again n tel her y i hav nt been goin out ni she believe...

i knw he is bz wit his studies cz tis is his last sem d...bt i jz wish he wud jz spare few mins of his time in da day jz oni for me...